Young at Heart

Sometimes. Sometimes I think I act too much like a little kid than the adult that I am. I’ve been told that I am “Young at Heart.” Not saying that I am immature, I just act young. Sometimes, it’s not always a good thing. My mother always told me “society will eventually mold you into what they expect or want you to be or how to act.”

Yes, I can see that. I go to work and I dress differently from the other drivers. I wear leggings, boots, over-sized sweaters. I wear lots of skirts during the warm weather. However, some of those women have an issue with my dress. “She dresses too young for her age.”

The old men don’t seem to mind. But those Christian women do. I should act my age.

NEVER.

I act silly. Talk silly. Dress youthful.

I think that keeps a person young at heart. Not to be embarrassed to act silly, to laugh at oneself. Keeps the mind young, the body young.

My Writing Process: A Blog Tour

I’m sitting at my local watering hole on a Friday night and Jack of “Frisky in the 916”  messages me to find out if I’m interested in doing this little “Blog Tour.” Sure, I’m buzzed. I’ll do just about anything with a few drinks in me.

1.  What am I working on? 

  • Currently I’m attempting to complete the A to Z Challenge that I signed up for. There are only 12 days left. I still need topics for the letters “S, V, X, Y Z.” Hopefully I can come up with something for those letters. If you have any suggestions drop me a line. This is my first year doing this meme, not sure if I’ll do it again next year. This meme is really been a challenge, in a very good way of course.
  • I also just received my VivaVoxBox from Influenster.com. Which contains complimentary products that I will have to give my reviews on via my different social media including a written blog post.

  • I have an non-fictional erotic story that I need to finish soon. I probably will forget how the story line went. Dammit.  You can read my last non-fictional erotic story called “20 Minutes.”
  • I haven’t written anything recently for the Blog for Mental Health Project. I had been writing posts about my issues and experiences. That I recently discovered in the last year. Hoping that I could connect to others like me and find out more about it.

2. How does my work differ from others of its genre? Funny, I don’t think I fit into any specific genre. I’ve tried. I write about my personal sexual adventures in regards to my “issues.” Which I guess is not a positive for either genre. Sexual or Mental Health. I share my sexual experiences because I never knew that that’s why I was acting the way I was. Also I think it makes for a hot read – sometimes.  Hoping that perhaps someone can relate or I can prevent someone from doing what I did. I don’t know. I also post a lot of photos of myself, along with lots of shoe shots. I mostly just write about what’s going on in my head. I also mix up some audio (podcast) with some of my written posts. I’ve always enjoyed doing audio more than typing. Not everyone is into listening & not everyone is into reading.

3.  Why do I write what I do? I write the things I do, because it’s what I know to write about. Also hoping to connect with other like-minded people. Those that can relate to what I write about or just having regular readers who enjoy reading what I write about. Another reason I write what I do, maybe some one out there reading it who may feel like they are the only one.  Most people wanna feel like their not totally alone in their situation and experiences. Bottom line, it’s self motivated. I need to share some things to get it off my chest & out of my head. If I write it all down and reread it back to myself, it just might make sense.

4.  How does your writing process work? It doesn’t. I haven’t found my pattern just yet. At times there are so many ideas in my head. I write them down in scribbled notes. Looking at them later I think I can’t write about that! Or OMG how depressing. That sounds crazy. I did use audio for a while just to get the thoughts out of my head. I’m still working on this part of it. I’m not a natural writer. You can tell those hardcore writers, I just wanna get the damn thought out, share it and be done. If I sound like I’m writing like a 17-year-old, well, you can understand it. Simple & straight to the point. I have looked into other ideas of how to write better,  to find a way that works for a mind that suffers with ADHD.

There you have it. Answers to questions that you always wanted to know about your favorite little kitty. Thanks again to Jack of jackandjillcpl for asking me to participate in this writing blog tour. I’m passing this tour onto the following follow bloggers. I do have a variety of bloggers I follow. Please note that they all may write about different topics, some sites may contain adult subject matter.

Normal Deviations

LordRaven69 – Malfic.com

Marci – Marci, Mental Health & More

Left-handed

If you have read my “About Cat” page, you will have read that I am left-handed. I didn’t know I was different into I began to learn how to write. I attended private school in the early 70’s. Taught by the Franciscan Order – Nuns! Penguins! Old lady’s in habits with those witch type black shoes and giant rosary beads hanging from their belt.

I was sitting down at the table practicing my letters, when my father noticed something.

“Why is your left hand behind your back?”

I told him that’s how the Sister had told me to practice. He looked at my homework. Some of the letters I had written backwards. He started yelling. He went into the living room, yelling to his mother (my grandma) about how he was taking to me school in the morning because he was going to talk to the principal. He came back into the kitchen. “Stop writing & put your arm down. Now pick up the pencil.” I picked it up with my left hand. He smiled. “Feel better?” I smiled.

That was my first memory of being “different” or left-handed. My dad did go to my school and had a talk with the Sisters there. I never had to put my left arm behind my back again.

I remember writing was and still can at times difficult for me. Especially when writing in spiral or composition notebooks. And don’t even get me started on those erasable pens. Those were never meant for lefties to use. I ended up wearing most of the ink on the side of my hand.

I do not write like most lefties. I hold my pen the “correct” way as right handers do. My handwriting can slight in all three directions. I can’t hold my pen and turn my wrist inwards. That hurts. I hated those left handed scissors. UGH. I would turn them upside down and try to cut with them that way. I remember there were even notebooks with the spiral on the opposite side, just for lefties.

I only use my left hand to write, drive and eat with. However there are times I can use my right hand to eat with. And I will say something to my family like “Something doesn’t feel right.” And my kids would be the first to notice that I was using the “wrong” hand. I can if needed use my right hand to eat with, write with and drive with. When I was younger and was forced to participate in sports I could use either hand. I actually performed better with my left hand, it was just never strong enough. I never trained with my left hand. I used to bowl (stop laughing) and I was taught to use my left hand. My score increased by 10-20 points. When going out to dinner I need to pay attention to where I sit. Sometimes I forget and I don’t enjoy my dining experience.

My maternal grandmother was left-handed. I have a few close cousins who are lefties. And out of my three children I have only one lefty. That’s the Manchild. Who is very creative and very intellectual. I am not as creative as I was when I was younger. Maybe I never was, just thought I was. I did do a lot of art projects, however at times it was difficult.

I never have given it much thought to being left handed in everyday life. I probably struggle a bit more, but I don’t attribute it to being left-handed which that might be the cause of my difficulty.

I know it was difficult to learn to dance. Doing the steps, for some reason I always got turned around. I tend to carry things in my left hand, such as my phone, car keys. Then I find it difficult because when I get into the car I have to put everything down before I can closed the car door behind me. I use my right shoulder to carry my purse, I used to wear my wristwatch on my left wrist. Then my father explained that it should go on my right wrist because I would continuously bump it on things. I would have a pen in my left hand, watch on my left wrist. That was weird.

Playing guitar when my dad attempted to teach me, I played right handed. It felt so uncomfortable playing left. I don’t think I am a true lefty. Because they do everything left-handed. I don’t. Sadly, my right hand, arm has taken a beating because I use it so much. Not to long ago I tried using my left hand for other things, just felt uncomfortable. I don’t take a lot of stock in those articles that a lot of statistics about lefty’s. That they are more satifified sexually, they are more likely to die younger, recover from a stroke faster & better and so on. I just don’t give it much thought. I’m just a left-handed woman in a right-handed world.

Are you left-handed? Not sure? Ask yourself these questions. Find out more at Lefthandersday.com

  1. Imagine the center of your back is itching. Which hand do you scratch it with?

  2. Interlock your fingers. Which thumb is uppermost?

  3. Imagine you are applauding. Start clapping your hands. Which hand is uppermost?

International Left-Handed Day

Stigma [BFMH2014]

 Do you think the stigma against mental health is beginning to fade compared to 10 years ago?

It’s been my recent experience that there is some stigma with mental health. However, when it comes to some friends & family, it seems to be easier for them to make reasons or excuses, allowances for me to “be” the way I am. It wasn’t my fault, it’s the way my parents treated me and so on.

I still will not tell the outer circle of friends. I think if I said “oh by the way, I’m bipolar or have schizophrenia.” There might be more of a stigma with those than with BPD. My opinion is that since I’m higher functioning, seemingly well and can be the fun chick. Most seem to overlook it, like it’s no big deal.  Not to sound mean, but because I tend not to be emotionally unstable in public, people don’t seem to be bothered with me being “different.”

When I first stumbled upon this whole “mental illness” blogging category. I realized there are millions of people with a mental illness. Some suffer from mild depression to some stuff I’ve never heard of. And most people I talk to have some form of “dysfunction” to me that’s an illness. It’s like its the new cool thing to have a mental illness of some kind. Whether it’s addiction, depression, BPD, PSTD. I do think that  society might view some illness as “cooler” than others. Like having Anti-social Personality Disorder, I think that would make people feel uneasy when they fully understood it. Another is schizophrenia, I think that one fills people’s minds with the homeless person pushing the cart with foil paper on their head and talking to themselves about government plots.

I think in another 10 years, it won’t be as it is today. More education, more people talking about their stories will help to ease the current stigma of mental illness. Mental illness is just now of one those diseases, illness, sickness that pretty much everyone has. There might even be those out there who don’t even know they are sick with a mental illness.

Keep in mind the above are merely my personal opinions on the subject of mental health stigma.

My 3 Words for 2014

@ChrisBrogan‘s #mythreewords Blogathon 2014

 

I don’t even remember how I stumbled onto this blogging event. I ended up on a List.ly page here. Another blogging challenge for individuals to take part in. Once upon a time for me, the new year’s challenge was just agreeing to “get fit.” Now it’s all about the blogging.

Deciding on three words has been one of the most difficult things I have been trying to come up with.  Since this is my first time participating in this blogathon I’m not sure to sure of myself. Ok, there is my first word.

Self. Working on self. Me. Being honest to myself. Being comfort with how I am as a person. Working on character defects, shortcomings. Working on issues that have hindered me advancing forward. Blogging about whatever I wanna blog about, not always worrying about what others think of me or how they view me. I’ve said it before, “Stop trying to fit in to cliques”. All those types of things that have to do with “self”. 

Cultivate. Like a farmer & his field of crops, I will tend to those friendships & relationships that I have in the past, neglected. I wanna attempt to become less self absorbed and to reach out to others. To listen to others, read more blogs and most importantly comment on what I have read in those blogs. Work on making new connections with other bloggers that are similar and different from me. To be open to fresh ideas, willing to learn from others. Really work at connecting to others and trying to get over the hurdle of possibly being rejected. Most about the connecting & cultivating friendships is that I listen. I wanna listen more to others. That is not gonna be easy for me.

Finish. I have always had trouble with finishing any major project I start. From the smallest of tasks to the huge ones. I just never seem to be able to finish what I start. This year I wanna say that I “finished” it. Whatever the “it” is. Whether it’s a blogging challenge to cleaning out the basement to doing something for a friend. Mostly, just getting “it” finished. This will be my toughest word for this new year.

Best Wishes & Good Luck.

Want more information? Click here

  • My Three Words for 2014 (passingthru.com)
  • What Are Your 3 Words for the Year? (questionpro.com)
  • Three Words (nishaksquared.com)
  • Blogathon – Jan 2014 (dreamymommy.wordpress.com)
  • Three words for 2014 (toddlohenry.com)