I wake up Saturday morning with no hangover, no headache. Talking to my Beloved about the evening…BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ goes my phone. I get a text from 43.
Did you close the place up and wake up with a hangover?
No just got out bed right now and making breakfast. C really can talk. I adore her! We left at 10
I had 5 drinks, 3 shots. Not even buzzed
Sounds like your getting use to these “Friday Night Get together’s”
Yeah someone else told me that too. It’s not good. Tonight I’m going out again. Alcohol changes me.
He must be working
Who? Hubby? Nope he’s upstairs. And where are you that you can text me on a Saturday. Oh you had that trip to ?
I’m in **** be back at 3
Nice day in the country
more like the sticks
yea this kind of work is when you need company
ur happy I’m here?
Here? as in the town? or at the other end of the conversation?
The first is work, you get paid. having you at the other end is nice, you’re a great guy.
Just a great guy – I guess that’s better than nothing
Are you attempting to get more with that statement? I was generally speaking. I can’t really say more because I don’t know what comes after being a great guy. You’re amazingly funny, intelligent, thoughtful and kind and a huge flirt
Thank you – that’s the best compliment I’ve had all day
I can be brutally honest at times. other times my communication is non-verbal. That tends to be more painful to others. and if I didn’t like having you as a friend I would have stopped talking to you long ago. Think of it this way, you must be some what cool to be in my life and serve a purpose otherwise – fuck off. you’re still here, right? so you must be a great guy.
My Discarded Men
The whole time I’m typing this I’m thinking you stupid mother fucker. All I want is to lull him into a false sense of security. That he becomes complacent in our friendship. I will slowly continue to distance myself from him. He will never be allowed to enter the core of my circle. He hurt me to quickly. The other thing I noticed is that he offers nothing to me other than a person who gets his hands dirty so that I don’t have to. I never asked him to do any of my dirty work, however, he took it upon himself to do it. Ok, far be it from me to burst his bubble. I do know that eventually he will get tired of me being unappreciative and ingratitude for his servitude and will stop doing everything all together or he will pitch a fit for some sort of recognition of his good deeds.
You said “friend” make me feel a lot better already
Why? Did you feel guilty about something? Feel like your not worthy? You’ll know when I’m with you. It’s a painful experience (trust me). Friend is a term I use loosely for you. But I ain’t calling you at 3 am However don’t get cocky cause you ain’t any where near the place you may think you wanna be.
I understand I think
Really? Explain back to me so I know you understand
As I understand you think of me as a person that you would be seen with in public, but not as a person that you would turn to for help (nothing major) you don’t want me to be that close to you.
You see, I’m not as dumb as some people think I am
I didn’t think you were
I respect you for you-you are a decent person who knows what she wants out of life & goes after it in her own way and no, I didn’t include you in that statement
You may respect me however I think you view me in a different light wait..I take that back..Can you respect the person without judging them?
I hold you to the same standards as everyone else that I come in contact with. I just see you in a different way due to our discussions that we have had and hope to continue. yes to your latest statement.
The discussions of how he made it perfectly clear that he desires the warmth of my bare skin against his. That our lips touch, that he can undress me one piece of clothing at a time. Wanna read about “43” from the beginning? Start here “He Touched Me“
Interesting. I think you made it somewhat clear how you unconsciously see me.
Really? Ya wanna go there?
You judged me based on something I said.
Now I don’t understand. I guess I’m not as smart as I think I am.
So you didn’t know I was upset with you?
Yes – I let my ass over-run my mouth and I am truly very sorry for that – I did not mean any disrespect toward you – I repeat I respect you for who you are and wish to continue being as close of a friend as I can be, but that will be up to you as how you see me.
It tool you all this time to apologize? Your communication skills suck. attempting to give gifts only added insult to injury. I’m not like most women you will even meet. You let me know exactly how you view me based on my outward appearance. It’s ok. It’s how you were raised. I will still be the same person towards you.
Not really. I am just telling him what I know he wants to hear so that he can focus on something, even if it’s me. I will continue to distance myself from him each day until it becomes a regular routine. I will pull away from the others on their Friday night get together’s. It’s just all too close for my liking. The judgement will or has come quick and it will be too hard to try to persuade them to think otherwise.
I told you at that time that i was sorry for that statement and any gift that I might give you is because I would like you to have it not for an apology, that I would do face to face and that is what i tried to do then
Yeah I remember I just wanted to get away from you as quickly as possible
That was intended to be more of a type of joke – I DO NOT see you that way. Especially after all the discussions we have had.
I hadn’t been “body slammed” like that in a while, However I think you do have that view of that type of woman. A woman that dresses like me. Now I second guess everything you ever said to me. Like the first thing that attracted you to me was the way I dressed. “Like a hooker….loose” I told you too much. I won’t make that mistake again. ever.
Your dress is perfect! A hooker probably don’t have that kind of clothing, if we can’t talk to each other like we used to than I don’t think we are the same people we were and that makes me very sad. I have enjoyed the time have gotten together to chat. Wish we had more together. I am very proud to be with you anytime!
We are not gonna be the same people. Because this is out there. I told you I had issues and to run the other way. I enjoy your company too and of course you’re proud to be with me because I give you that feeling you so hungrily crave.
You really have the wrong perspective of me. you think you really know me and I don’t think you do. I don’t go after any women that comes along, hell I could have had that many times but I chose you to be someone I could care about as a FRIEND not as a sex partner.
Now how do I take that? I now question your motives. I guess maybe we don’t know each other. Maybe we should just walk away and drop the whole thing now before it gets too insane for us.
What motives? friendship?
Underlying desire of sex
that would be a bonus and yes I would not turn it down with you
That I know, you made that clear. That’s what you want.
So just where do we stand? I know I fucked up bad, I don’t want to lose what we have had and if there is anyway I can make it right, I will.
I’m still giving you the opportunity to walk away. Otherwise we just go one being. We can talk & joke around, have lunch together and just wing it.
I lied. Again. Saying stuff that he wants to hear, only in respond to his comments. His comments have under-laying tones of motive because he doesn’t want to cut off the possibility of me giving in to the idea of having sex with him. He will never get sex from me.
I will not walk away – I am not that kind just because things get rough
OK when you fall into my madness don’t come at me that I didn’t warn you. and we can get together for lunch when you have the desire of my company.
All the time
No secret there
No secret? huh?
It’s not secret that you enjoy my company all the time. Because I am amazing to be with, even when at a bar verbally attacking a man. I’m amazing.
WOW. that was quite a text
And? am I lying? about being amazing?
No and I can live with that.
Good. See you Monday. I guess.
I’m sure now there will be no more gifts of soda, candy left for me to see. I’m thinking that at some point he will stop doing my dirty work. Not so bad during the warm weather, it’s the winter that I hate. I must admit, I used to enjoy the drama of a fun play toy. However, he has burnt out with me fairly quickly. There was really nothing he offered but the dirty work. How sad. Maybe I need to take a break from having a play toy for a while.