You got some ‘Splaining to do [Truthful Thursday #2]

If tomorrow you found out that you & your partner had just conceived a child, how would you react? How do you think it might change your relationship?

I would be in a panic! I would immediately look at my calendar. Counting dates, last menstrual cycle, the date I last had sex and with who. Not saying that it wouldn’t be my Beloved, but we all know shit happens and with my past record of risky behaviors anything it possible. Not likely, but still possible.

I remember when I did mention to my Beloved I was curious about sex with someone else, one of the very top criteria was that the man be “fixed.” I’m too old to ever humor the thought of having anymore children. Oh gawd…I don’t have the patience to bring another fucked up person in to the world. It’s bad enough my 3 kids had to suffer through my awful parenting skills.

If I found out I was having a baby, it would change the relationship to the point I don’t think we would stay married. Especially if I had cheated on him and got pregnant. That would be just reckless & inconsiderate & irresponsible on my part. Sure, I’m irresponsible BUT that’s at the far end of my extreme scale.

My Beloved & I have completely different child-raring views. Being an only child, I’m used to getting what I want, he comes from a family of 4 where each had to fight for their stuff or there wasn’t enough to go around. The one thing that we would agree on is that children and a child at this point in our life would be burdensome. It would be like an anchor drowning us completely in all aspects of our lives.

This is my second entry in my year all attempt to answer random questions truthfully on it’s posted on Thursday. If you would like to ask me a question for me to answer you can >HERE<

Night Time is the Right Time [TMI Nov. 18, 2014]

1. When I can’t sleep I grab my iphone, play on Twitter, read some blog posts and try to get tired. I know that I will go blind instead. 

2. My dream bedroom would be full of lots of purple & black colors, kind of Gothic looking furniture (nothing over the top). I want a dancer’s pole in the corner. Huge walk-in closets (two) the room is big enough for a sitting room, master bathroom, big screen TV mounted on the wall. Basically I want a bit of everything in my master bedroom, including a small refrigerator. So when I wanna escape the world, or even my family or guests I have all the comforts in MY room!!! 

3. If I could wake up anywhere tomorrow it would be ENGLAND and second would be SoCal 805.

4. I need to have a routine  at night.

5. Sleeping alone would truly be a nightmare.

6. Night time is the right time to go out partying, find hook-ups, do all those things one can not do during the daytime. Also to cuddle, relax and just decompress.

Bonus:  Briefly tell us about your last dream–erotic or not. I had dreamed about two kittens. One got killed when my car flipped over in a mud puddle and the other kitten was too afraid to come out from under the car and turned into a frog. I was at my apartment when the someone knocked on the door. I opened the door and there stood the kitten who turned into the frog, who had two legs standing upright with one arm stretched up towards the sky. He came into the apartment and ran behind my sofa turning into a little adorable boy who couldn’t talk. I woke up shortly after asking the little boy who he was and his name.

TMI Tuesday blog

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Love. Life. Lessons. [TMITuesday]

I decided to answer the following questions in a podcast. You can listen by clicking the play button. [Runtime: 15 minutes]

 

 

1. Are you happy with your job? Why or Why not? 

  • yes and no.

2. What do you want? 

 

3. Who first broke your heart? I can’t speak his name. Happened when I was really young.

4. What is the biggest mistake you’ve made in a relationship? 

  • Staying longer than I should have.
  • Believing what he told me.
  • Trying to change him.

5. What did you learn from you last lover/ex-significant other?

  • that sex can be exciting again
  • that sex can be spontaneous
  • that sex can be all those dirty things I want, need and desire sex to be.

6. What novel has been instrumental in shaping your views at any point in your life? Why? 

The Purpose Driven Life book cover

7. Tell us about a favorite TV broadcast show you currently enjoy? Give us a synopsis of the show. 

Bonus: What is your current favorite song to listen to over and over again?

 

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblogfrom your website!

 

Happy TMI Tuesday!

 

Life [TMITuesday]

i love life

photo credit: Navy Blue Stripes via photopin cc

1. We learn from our mistakes. What sex or sexual mistakes have you made and learned from. What was the lesson learned? Never trust any one. One should always practice safe sex. Because in the heat of the moment, it’s been my experience that people lie to get what they want. It’s best not to take chances with one’s health.

2. What risk (sexual or not) would you take if you knew you would not fail? I would have sex with an older man, just to see if it’s any different than sex with an younger man. By the word older, I mean 15 years and up.

3. At what time in your life have you felt most passionate and alive? when I’m doing something impulsive and something that I shouldn’t be doing.

4. What one piece of advice about sex would you offer the virgin you? It’s ok to wait. Don’t be in a hurry. Enjoy it until you feel the time is right (in your heart).

5. What are you avoiding? exercising. I’m currently sinking into a self hatred mode. Which will then spiral me out of control.

6. By what age should you know what you want to do with your life? Geez. I would think it would be before 50. If not, not biggie.

Bonus: Do you think you’ve experienced true intimacy in a relationship? Me?! Intimacy?! Until the past year my answer would have been NO. However, I think I have made great progress with my ability to trust my beloved. To allow myself to open up to him emotionally. Maybe it’s not normal, but I view sex differently than most women. I do not bring intimacy into that. I think there might have been someone who got that on a non-verbal very intense sexual encounter. We haven’t spoken since then. I think it scared us both that we could have ever allowed something like that to happen.

Some questions were adapted from 28 questions for a happy life.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesday blog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

A Day Late. PB&J [AMD5]

I’m a day behind with audiomo. I have a good reason. I had a tooth pulled yesterday, spending most of the day – sleeping (and drooling blood on my pillow).

I’ve been craving peanut butter & jelly sandwiches. Haven’t had any in a few years. How do you eat your sammies? Do you eat the crust? How do you feel about the crust? Sitting here eating my sandwich I’m wondering how do you eat yours?

20140602-092242-33762080.jpg

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You’re Such a Character [TMI Tuesday 5/20/2014]

1. What is your astrological symbol? Taurus  Does it fit you? Yes.

2. List 3 of the good traits of your astrological symbol to which you can relate. Loyal, creative, hardworking. I am hard-headed. Good kisser. 

3. List 3 of the worst traits of your astrological symbol that you believe do not pertain to you. They aren’t bad traits, it’s just that the following don’t fit me. Very caring, patient, and being stubborn. BUT I am stubborn!

4. What is your Chinese zodiac animal symbol? Horse

5. In Chinese philosophy, The Theory of the Five Elements describes the interaction and relation of natural phenomena. The five elements of wood, fire, Earth, metal and water affect your zodiac sign. Which element are you? Find out here

I am Male Metal-Type person, basically, shows Earth-type personality and Metal-type personality in the daily life.

36% Earth-Type Personality People with Earth-type personality are trustful, steady, loyal and responsible. They are honest, religious, reliable, and keep their promises. The characteristics of Earth are standing still, being slow and steady, and stationary. Therefore the Earth people don’t like to move their body and change their mind too often. They are honest, trustworthy, and responsible. They also have good faith. They can sit in one position for a long time. They accept religion since they like rumination and meditation. They are slow to react. They like to collect things, and enjoy their collectibles at home, but not outdoors. People with excess Earth are stubborn, inflexible, cheap, lonely, plain and simple. They cannot keep their word either.

33% Metal-Type Personality People with Metal-type personality are righteous, faithful, gallant and chivalrous. They like to know and help people. Metal is the substance in which internal particles squeeze and condense together. There is a force from the outside to the inside that keeps Metal hard. Metal reflects light, so it is shiny. It may have a clear sound when it’s hit. Therefore, a Metal-type person has great strength, discipline and enough courage to aid needy people, which may make them famous. People with excess Metal are often unkind and destructive. They are brave but may have no resourcefulness and no intelligence. They have little grace and no mercy. They do not keep secrets.

21% Fire-Type Personality People with Firer-type personality are courteous, eloquent, polite and expressive. They are good at compliments in speech. Fire people are energetic, artistic, passionate, easily excitable, and have a tendency to rapidly change emotional states as well as become aggressive. They love sensation, drama and sentiment. They seek joy, gratification and the attention of others. They like to be invited to a party and dislike being alone.

5% Water-Type Personality People with Water-type personality are smart, wise, frank, and resourceful. They have good memories and think before they leap. There are two types of Water: Floating Water and Still Water. Floating Water makes people active and restless and feel like traveling. Still Water makes people clam and peaceful. People lacking Water are unstable, cowardly, narrow-minded, and have no stamina. They lack intellect, good sense, understanding, and foresight. They also tend to keep changing their mind.

3% Wood-Type Personality People with Wood-type personality are kind, steady, sympathy-sharing, understanding and gentle. They like to help people and make donations. The essence of Wood is a tree. The force inside the tree is like growing upward to the sky. Trees often compete with each other aggressively when growing up. Because of the characteristics of trees, Wood-type people are steadfast, organized, logical, practical, innovative, unique, assertive, fortitudinous, independent, challenging and direct. They like to plan things, take action, and go on adventures and challenges. They are perfectionists who tend to push themselves to the limit and seek out the best, and take first place in competition. People lacking Wood essentially are weak in their opinions. They lack the determination to change their options when situations change. They are likely to be jealous when they don’t have a strong viewpoint of their own.

General Information for Male Metal-type people born in Dragon Month

The general description about this person is opinionated, adventurous, subjective, revolutionary, persistent and forceful.

One word for people born in this month is intuitive.

These people deal with life through their intuitions. They move confidently along their feelings or instincts. They are proud and dignified. They set high expectations or goals on themselves in order to achieve perfection. Their concentration and efforts are very persistent. They are serious and active about their work. They enjoy leadership and have lots of energy to take on more responsibilities at work and at home. It is difficult for them to compromise or accept other peoples’ ideas as they handle things solely with their intuition. They are very independent, but they need a lot of attention from other people in their social life. They have the ability to associate with different people by creating an intellectual atmosphere. They need to be accepted and be at the center of attention. They are very impractical about life, as they are not easily satisfied. Their expectations keep growing, which create a lot of worries for themselves.

Bonus: Briefly tell us something you found interesting about your Chinese zodiac as it pertains to the Five Elements.

That I can relate much more to the Chinese Zodiac and the Five Elements than I can being a Taurus. In the answer to the the above question, the last paragraph is so me! It’s freaky. Especially about being independent but needing attention. Associating with different people by creating an intellectual atmosphere. WOW!

Everything was very interesting.

Bonus, Bonus: What cartoon/comic character best describes you? Take the short personality test and share your results. Test: http://www.youthink.com/quiz.cfm?obj_id=1433

I Got Garfield!


Personality Test Results

You enjoy complaining. You’re also a little vain and may be a tad lazy or overweight – but you`re comfortable with that. You`re also quite smart. At least, you like to think so, but people tend to simply agree with you to avoid confrontation. All in all, life is good for you and things are on the up and up. Keep smiling!

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your web space (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Emotions [TMI Tuesday]

  1. Laughter: What makes you laugh? Comedian such as Robin Williams, Lewis Black, Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, George Lopez, George Carlin.  I also tend to laugh at most “Jackass” movies. I still laugh at fart jokes. Must be that 8 year boy still living inside me.  You can peek at my Pinterest board for a better idea of what makes me laugh. Follow Catherine Martinique’s board Cracked Me Up on Pinterest.  SIDE-NOTE: I adore a man who can make me laugh and smile.
  2. Anger: This past week, who or what really pissed you off? #43 pissed me off by judging me by how I dress. The clothes that I wear to work. I was both hurt, which then turned into anger. What happened? You can read the post here The Sting of Emotion
  3. Fear: What phobia did you have but overcame? After my motorcycle accident (back in 2009) I was told that most riders stop riding after having a severe crash like mine. I have been diagnosed with PSTD as a result of this accident. Yes, I was and at times terrified to ride my Harley. But I just keeping pushing through that anxiety. Sometimes I will admit it’s overwhelming. When I started back up riding, it would hit me so strong & hard I would have to pull over in a parking lot. Because I would start to panic. Terrified of another accident.  My fear of getting hit, crashing, breaking bones haunt me, but I keep going. I still love the feel of the wind on my face, the looks I get, wearing the leather. 
  4. Surprise: Recently, what unexpected act or behavior did you experience in your sex life? Someone (an X/FB)  from my past resurfaced into my life last weekend. I was not expecting to hear from him again – ever. We were tossing the idea of “getting together” however, we both decided against it. Maybe one day soon, just not any time soon.
  5. Trust: Many on-going relationships have a certain predictability about them. Does that certainty translate into trust? Not sure how to answer this one. However, I can say I trust my beloved more than any other man in my life. Which is difficult coming from me. 
  6. Excitement: Who do you excite? There are a few that I knew for sure that I excite. First would be my Beloved. Second would be my #1 fan and lastly my most recent discarded men number 43.

Bonus: What intimate activity do you share with your partner, something that is meaningful to your relationship? For example Sunday breakfast in bed, cooking, maintenance spanking, etc.

Well, for the month of February he assisted me in taking some photos for #febphotofest. Which gave us time together and we enjoyed ourselves. Cooking together on the weekday evenings, not all the time, some of the time. The part activity we have is when we get home from work we strip down. Sit on the bed each of us at one end of the bed. And we talk. Hours fly by, we talk about what happened during the day. Anything that is important to us. Since the kids have all moved out, we have been able to get closer. This is my favorite activity.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

I’m Just Askin’ [TMITuesday]

1. We are just a few months into 2014 but I want to know what have you done this year that you have never done before? I’m currently involved in #FebPhotoFest. I actually posted full body shots of myself, which is something I thought I would never do-ever. Because my sense of body image, self-image is so low that I would not have posted photos of myself publicly.

I also started blogging about mental illness-mine. Wha?!!! Yup.  I think I have finally narrowed down my niche. Sex & mental illness. lol. What a combo. It is funny, because when my impulsivity & risky, reckless behavior are in full swing. It causes my sex life to become a wild ride. 

Flirting with a man who is the same age as my mother. Actually was tossing around the idea of a sexual encounter with this man. Why? Just so I can say I “fucked” an old guy. No, seriously, I truly wonder what it would be like having sex with a man of that age. Which is something I never thought I would ever say. 

2. You are going to a deserted island, your only entertainment will be to read. What five (5) books will you take with you? Damn, I became a slut so I wouldn’t have to read!  “The Erotic Mind” because I should re-read it soon. “Love Affairs” – I need to finish it. “Games People Play” is one I need to buy asap.   “Intuition” A book that is sitting on my book shelf, but I have never read it. A book about my mental illness, that would be #5.

3. We all change and grow over time (at least you should). What two (2) things do you miss about the old you? I miss my old “Charlie Sheen” life!!! I miss the wild sex, drugs and booze. I miss the adventurous person I used to be. Why? I miss those two things because now at this point in my life, I feel stagnant. I know I’m really not, however, at times I feel bored. Restless spirit. Boredom is part of my “illness.” And it can push me downward. Because for some insane reason I feel that life is too still for me. 

The rational part of me that doesn’t miss the above at all. 

4. How would you define and calculate ‘sexual satisfaction’? Me reaching an orgasm first. Then my partner then my turn again.

5. Porn–Has it ever been good for your relationship?  Yes, there has been times when we watch it together, especially when I on meds after my motorcycle accident. I felt “numb.” No desire to have sex, so I suggested watching porn to jump-start my libido. It worked.   Has it ever been bad for your relationship? At times it can be bad. Because I watch it everyday. shit. Did I just admit that?! oh well. Sometimes, it’s easier for me to take care of my needs than to wait for him. Risking the possibility that I might not get what I need or desire ending my night in frustration.

Bonus: Is there a secret you’d like to share? What is it? Secret?! Here’s one for ya. “Keeping Secrets.” I really can’t think of anything. That’s a lie. I can think of tons of secrets, but that’s why they call them secrets.

 

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

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