Cheating & Masturbating [TMI Tuesday]

1. Your thoughts–is oral sex cheating on your partner?  When I was in my 20’s I used to view cheating as only intercourse. Oral sex didn’t count. This is my opinion. Well, it was back then. Now cheating includes so much more than just intercourse.Blowjob in the cemetery
2. What is cheating to you?  Cheating to me, includes such things as intercourse, oral sex & emotional exchange with someone else than your partner.
3. Does your partner know you masturbate? Yes he knows. What do they think about that?  He views it as something we all do.
4. Think about the best sex you’ve ever had. Why do you consider it the best, what makes it so? Some of my best sex has been times when I have had multiple orgasms. Other times when I have had no orgasms. Funny, but when I think back to all my former sex partners I seldom think of my ex-husband. I wonder why that is? We had lots & lots of sex. I experimented with him, had lots of firsts with him, but I just don’t think of any of our sexual adventures.
5. When you have nightmares, do you call out someone’s name? No I don’t. In my nightmares I hear myself yelling or talking loudly, but my husband tells me that I just moan in my sleep. A sorrowful, fearful sounding moan and he will wake me up if he gets worried. Because my nightmares are always about someone trying to kill me, something in our room and the room has no air and I can’t breathe.
6. When you’re having an orgasm, do you scream a name? When I was single I had sex with different men. I told myself never say any names because I might say the wrong one. So, it’s not something I normally do, I feel weird saying anyones names out lout. One of my lovers always asked me to say his name. I made an exception to my rule and would scream out his name when I was having an orgasm. My favorite times was when I was on top of him, riding his hard cock and I would lean down pressing my breast to his chest. Whispering his name in his ear. Telling him how good his cock felt and say his name a few more times.

watching porn & masturbating

Bonus: Which best fits your usual reason for masturbating:
a. Boredom
b. Stress relief
c. Saw someone/something sexy and you need to act out a sexual fantasy
d. It’s just what I do

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Let’s Talk About Sex [f4tf14]

Are you comfortable discussing sex with your partner? Do you have the confidence to ask for what you like/want?

YES. I am very comfortable talking sex with my current partner. We talk about I LOVE YOU, holding hands, couple sex, the opposite sex and everything in between. He said “I’m glad that I can talk about sex with you, that you don’t get upset or jealous if I comment about how attractive another women is.”

We talk about the stuff we like, what we don’t like. What’s off-limits. We discuss our “dry patches,” those times when we are just not interested in having sex or simply bored.

I have mentioned a few times what I want during sex, but he is very vanilla. Ok, not very vanilla but damn close. I love him. Yet, sometimes its difficult in the relationship when one person is bored & unsatisfied. This can lead to other issues in the relationship. What I like or want during sex is on his “off-limits” list. However, we do understand that “things happen.” Not condoning some acting out behavior, we both understand that sometimes lust gets the better of us. Doesn’t mean that we don’t love each other, just means “things happen!”


The Naked Truth [F4TF7]

Are you at ease being naked? No, I’m not a big fan of being naked.. Not in front of strangers or first time lovers. I have gotten used to being naked in front of doctors. I had a few major accidents and getting undressed/dressed and having surgeries I just don’t bother. I figured it’s not the first naked body they’ve seen.

When it comes to lovers, even photographs of certain parts of my body I am so nervous to show or self-conscious to let anyone see me naked. I remember a time when I had sex with a lover, but was so nervous for him to see my naked body. He said “You can keep your shirt on, wear a skirt so you can pull it up. You can be on top.” I agreed. After a few more times like that and a gentle hand I ended up stripping off my clothes before he could once I got used to him. rainbow socks

There was an alcoholic ex I had who would degrade me. He would say things like “You’re so fat, whose gonna wanna have sex with you?” or something about my scars “they’re ugly to look at and I don’t want to see them.” We eventually stopped having sex after a year. We broke up after I choked him one night when he had drank too much, running his mouth. I sat on his chest and choked him. Years, years later I ran into him at a local bar. We talked about that night he told me, “I said those things so you wouldn’t leave me. I thought you would stay with me because you were afraid to leave. Never thought you would try to kill me.”

He did a lot of mental damage on my self-esteem, being naked in front of someone. Then I met a man who would marry me. He tells me every day how beautiful I am – naked and dressed. He watches me get dressed. It used to bother me, but when he gets a hard-on while watching me dress/undress gives me a boost in my esteem. A couple of times we turned that into a little show. Well, I did. He enjoyed the happy ending at the end of his show.

Do you feel more comfortable clothed or unclothed? I feel more comfortable half-dressed. When I’m at home I walk around in a t-shirt, panties and thigh high socks (if it’s cold). In the summer I wear a tank top, panties or running shorts. I always wear a bra. I can’t stand boob sweat. I do not like that my nipples get a bit sore from rubbing on the shirt when I don’t wear a bra.



Welcome to My Blog [TMI Tuesday]


1. How long have you been blogging? I have blogged since 2009. I started with blogger. I deleted that blog. Then started another one. I started several different ones on WordPress and tumblr. Always getting bored, deleting them and starting over. Until I became self-hosted in January 2013. I tried to keep my general & sex topics separate, eventually I said “fuck it.” And started my sex blog

2. Tell us about your pen name? My pen is “Sassy Cat”  Is it a pen name? Not really. It’s the name I’ve used online over the years. I even have it tattooed on my forearm.

3. What is your blog about? It’s about whatever I decide to write about. I am interested in so much stuff. However, I have narrowed topics down to writing about my personal (past & present) experiences with sex. Writing about Borderline Personality Disorder, this is also participating in a year around meme called “Blog for Mental Health 2015.” Lastly I write product reviews. Whatever product that is given to me, I will share my honest view after I have used that product.

4. Do you earn any money with your blog? No. However, it would be really cool if I did.

5. What inspired you to blog? There were really two reasons why I started blogging. The being that I was being cyberbullied and cyber stalked about someone I met on a website called Snapvine. Basically what it boiled down to is that she thought I was after her man. Who lived in another state from both of us. She finally recognized that he was playing her against me. He would stop being friends with one of us, than friend the other. But she & he would blog about me, she would do podcasts swearing at me and threatening me. I finally went to the police, starting a file on her. I sent off all my paperwork and files from the web to the website that the local authorities gave to me. I submitted files to the websites that she was using to harass me, some would do something, others did nothing. Eventually she come to understand what she was doing, she apologized to me. We are not best friends, she’s helpful when it comes to Facebook issues. It’s like she knows that I’m here and she’s there. She does follow me still to this day, but no longer harassing me or bullies me.

The second reason was I started writing about some of my past sexual experiences. Nothing really special, about different lovers, an ongoing relationship I had when I was married (separated, waiting for the divorce), he was married. This was on blogger, then I moved it over here. Some of it I re-wrote to make it sound updated & fresh. I got kind of behind on writing about all my sexual adventures. It became too much, I still have a few in my drafts folder that I write a few words and then hit the save button.

Lately, I’ve been taking erotic photographs and posting to Flickr and Instagram. I really enjoyed doing that. Editing the photos takes some time which does get to me (sometimes). I recently was given a Nikon D5300 for my birthday and will be taking LOTS & LOTS of erotic photos. Consider yourself warned! lol

6. What keeps you blogging? I keep blogging because I still have things to share. Products to write reviews about. I write some of the thoughts that bounce around in my head. I wish I could type faster. That’s one reason I started podcasting or audio blogging. I could get more of my thoughts out quickly being speaking & recording audio.

7. Do you have any advice for readers looking for love? Looking to get laid? Looking for a threesome? My experience with threesomes are one of becoming one point of the triangle. I would suggest do it once or twice  but don’t get too personally involved with the couple or the people.

8. Did you do your kegels today? Yes. When was the last time you did them? This afternoon. (Men: There is no evidence that kegels prevent erectile dysfunction. Source: WebMD )

Bonus: Do you have any special sexual gifts or talents or tricks? Tell us about it. I have no gag reflex. And that makes my special trick giving awesome blowjobs, resulting most of the time in swallowing.

Find out who else is playing TMI Tuesday by clicking the banner below.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to TMITuesday blog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!


You got some ‘Splaining to do [Truthful Thursday #2]

If tomorrow you found out that you & your partner had just conceived a child, how would you react? How do you think it might change your relationship?

I would be in a panic! I would immediately look at my calendar. Counting dates, last menstrual cycle, the date I last had sex and with who. Not saying that it wouldn’t be my Beloved, but we all know shit happens and with my past record of risky behaviors anything it possible. Not likely, but still possible.

I remember when I did mention to my Beloved I was curious about sex with someone else, one of the very top criteria was that the man be “fixed.” I’m too old to ever humor the thought of having anymore children. Oh gawd…I don’t have the patience to bring another fucked up person in to the world. It’s bad enough my 3 kids had to suffer through my awful parenting skills.

If I found out I was having a baby, it would change the relationship to the point I don’t think we would stay married. Especially if I had cheated on him and got pregnant. That would be just reckless & inconsiderate & irresponsible on my part. Sure, I’m irresponsible BUT that’s at the far end of my extreme scale.

My Beloved & I have completely different child-raring views. Being an only child, I’m used to getting what I want, he comes from a family of 4 where each had to fight for their stuff or there wasn’t enough to go around. The one thing that we would agree on is that children and a child at this point in our life would be burdensome. It would be like an anchor drowning us completely in all aspects of our lives.

This is my second entry in my year all attempt to answer random questions truthfully on it’s posted on Thursday. If you would like to ask me a question for me to answer you can >HERE<

25 Qualities about Me [Truthful Thursday #1]

One of the new things I will be attempting this year. I’m not sure who started this meme or how to connect to it. But I am just doing it for something to attempt to give me a goal. A weekly meme that I can add when I can’t think of anything else to write or share.

My first Truthful Thursday of 2015 is…

25 Qualities 

  1. Dependable
  2. Open-minded
  3. Intelligent
  4. Rebellious
  5. Emotional
  6. Selfish
  7. Impulsive
  8. Excitable
  9. Self-Centered
  10. Irresponsible
  11. Thrifty
  12. Discreet
  13. Curious
  14. Indecisive
  15. Realistic
  16. Possessive
  17. Stubborn
  18. Sarcastic
  19. Sloppy
  20. Temperamental
  21. Loyal
  22. Truthful
  23. Humorous
  24. Interesting
  25. Tactless

Some good qualities and some not so good. There were a few other qualities that I could have added but these are the ones that came to mind first.

Until next Truthful Thursday [#TT]

Relationships: Beginning, Middle, The End. [TMI Tuesday]

1. A sexy person you’ve been admiring says, “Let’s do something wild together.” What is the thing you pick to do? If I was admiring this sexy person for a while, my response would depend on how well I knew that person. I could say anything from wanting to have sex somewhere and immediately to doing something they were into…within the lines of sanity and borderline law breaking.

2. I saw this headline: Whip Your Vagina Into Shape. Sadly the subject matter wasn’t what I wanted. Anywho…which way would you prefer to whip your vagina into shape. (Fellas you can select your fave way you’d like to whip a pussy or see it whipped)
a. a nice, stingy pussy spanking by hand. This sounds a bit too painful & uncomfortable for me…PASS
b. doing kegel exercises with kegel balls. I would pick this one, safety first! LOL. Besides I love to tighten my muscles around an entering & exiting rock hard shaft from my pretty pink place. It’s a muscle…and it must be in perfect form for activities.
c. having some SM master/mistress actually whip your pussy, with a whip! OH NO…this is out of my comfort zone

3. When in a relationship (married, living together or dating) What do you do if you want to be alone for a while? How do you get “me” time? I go shopping. Most days I am alone while he is at work, so that works out great. I spend time in my office or ride the Harley or just go on a road trip out-of-town. 

4. Which of these subjects causes the most tension or fighting between you and your significant other?
a. in-laws…We agreed early on that the subject of each other’s parents were off-limits. Dads were ok to trash talk about most of time, but mothers were never to be trashed talked by the opposite spouse. Sure we both have moments when we get upset with the MIL’s but that’s only being human. 
b. children/step-children…yes at times, because I spoiled my kids, enabled them and he worked them..hard at times. 
c. finances…because I’m irresponsible. We had a joint checking account, but I kept bouncing checks. He said NO MORE! I was forced to get my checking & savings acct. He still gives me money to cover my checks that might bounce prior to pay-day. He smiles and says “I love you, I hope that one day you learn how to add & subtract.” We joke a lot about me going to private school and learning only how to deal drugs & drink booze in school without getting caught, but not learning the important things in life!!! Seriously though I do balance my accounts. I pay the cable, the mobile phone bill and the medical bills along with groceries and any extras like shoes & clothes for myself. 
d. housekeeping…we are both slobs at times. No biggie. We clean when it needs to be done otherwise you might see towels on the bathroom floor. BUT it’s ME that left it there, not him! 

5. When breaking up with someone or ending a relationship, which method is more your style? Avoidance. Ignoring. No Contact after the decision has been made known. I don’t care if I’m dying or can’t breath I won’t contact that person. Even if there isn’t a break up. I’ve had efriends especially men that tell me “if I don’t contact you, I’ll never hear from you.” I say “true. I make the perfect mistress.” LOL

a. dramatic exit– sending texts and phone calls and taking the chance to vent about all the things you didn’t like about the person.

b. play it cool and be upfront and tell them “it’s not working out.”

c. slow down the time you spend together…fade away and disappear without a word. I tend to do this one a lot too.

6. I know none of YOU would ever break up with someone via text message (btw, there is an app for that but if you did, what would your text read? Depends on why I’m breaking up with them. I often say that if someone hurt me deeply that I would shred them verbally & emotionally. I haven’t been like that in over a decade. Don’t think I have it in me anymore. I probably would just tell them the truth…”I need to focus on myself for a while.” 

“I feel too restricted. I need space.”

“You’re a great guy and someday you’ll make a woman very happy, but that woman isn’t me.”

Yeah yeah…not all that truthful, but it’s what I do. 

Trying to stop laughing because YES I have tried to break up with someone via text (not a relationship, but a very intense friendship). He wouldn’t take NO for an answer. I told him I didn’t want to get in the way of his crazy girlfriend & him. I also went on to say “it’s not you, it’s me.” I used that a lot with break-ups. My husband laughed when I shared this story with him. He said “He can’t tell you’re being sarcastic via text.” 

I remember trying to breakup with an internet relationship via yahoo messenger. He wouldn’t accept it either. He started using my full name, typing in ALL CAPS (stop laughing! LOL it is funny, huh?!) He finally broke down and actually called me on the telephone. Begged me not to leave him. 

OK, this leads me the answer I gave for the bonus question…Now I think (after reading the above) that I’m a terrible person and I might have to reconsider that answer! 

BonusWould you like you if you met you? I would in the beginning, until I got through the layers of crazy, then I might get scared and bail on myself. Why? I might not run away because I do have fun with myself & I tend to be there when anyone calls/needs me. Because I do expect that from those close to me.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Night Time is the Right Time [TMI Nov. 18, 2014]

1. When I can’t sleep I grab my iphone, play on Twitter, read some blog posts and try to get tired. I know that I will go blind instead. 

2. My dream bedroom would be full of lots of purple & black colors, kind of Gothic looking furniture (nothing over the top). I want a dancer’s pole in the corner. Huge walk-in closets (two) the room is big enough for a sitting room, master bathroom, big screen TV mounted on the wall. Basically I want a bit of everything in my master bedroom, including a small refrigerator. So when I wanna escape the world, or even my family or guests I have all the comforts in MY room!!! 

3. If I could wake up anywhere tomorrow it would be ENGLAND and second would be SoCal 805.

4. I need to have a routine  at night.

5. Sleeping alone would truly be a nightmare.

6. Night time is the right time to go out partying, find hook-ups, do all those things one can not do during the daytime. Also to cuddle, relax and just decompress.

Bonus:  Briefly tell us about your last dream–erotic or not. I had dreamed about two kittens. One got killed when my car flipped over in a mud puddle and the other kitten was too afraid to come out from under the car and turned into a frog. I was at my apartment when the someone knocked on the door. I opened the door and there stood the kitten who turned into the frog, who had two legs standing upright with one arm stretched up towards the sky. He came into the apartment and ran behind my sofa turning into a little adorable boy who couldn’t talk. I woke up shortly after asking the little boy who he was and his name.

TMI Tuesday blog

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

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