Severe Storm

Friday afternoon some severe storms passed through Northern Illinois. It came so fast and so hard. The rain was coming down so hard that it looked blurry gray. The wind picked up, tops of the trees were swaying. Our dog Stella has issues when it comes to storms. I’m trying to give her medication to her and set up my camera to get some photos. But the rain came too quick, so I waited.

storm clouds, latina blogger, sassycat3000, extreme weather
And then it happened. The power went out! It’s too hot & humid to be without air conditioning. The pump that keeps the garage from flooding has stopped running. When the rain slowed down to a sprinkle I went outside to assess the damages.

The storm took down my patio shelter, knocked over the canopy swing. All the garden plants are flooded. The winds knocked over all kinds of things. Tables, chairs, flower pots and trees.

After I walked around out back I heard voices out front. Neighbors outside walking down the streets, pointing. Ok, let’s go see. The next block down the street from us had a huge tree blocking the road. This tree was blown over by the strong winds, it even pulled the root by also two slabs of  sidewalk concrete. The electrical wires are laying on the ground. The tree crushed a truck and branches grazed a car across the street.

I continued walking and noticed there was another tree down laying in the street. This tree was just another down from the one laying one the truck. This tree was struck by lightning, it was hollow inside and the bark was peeled off the trunk. The electrical wires were burnt as they laid in the street. Next to that tree in between the two houses a huge thick tree trunk was knocked over as well however this tree was dead and didn’t cause any property damage other than needed to be removed.

Since there was no electricity we decided to go out to eat and shopping and later we went to my favorite dive bar and that is another story.

 

Friday Night Out

I knew it had started. Last Friday I went out drinking with some peeps after work. Now, this Friday was another after work get together at the local watering hole. More people went this time. I think everyone is pretty tired of the winter and being cooped up in their homes now.

I arrived at 4:15 pm. I was one of the first ones there. A couple was there, the wife is a fellow driver. She had been away for a while so it was good to see her, so that the others could catch up. Everyone else slowly started to file into the bar.

pineapple & rum, Christian brothers, alcoholic drinks

pineapple & rum, Christian brothers, alcoholic drinks

I sat down, 43 sat across from me, watching me, smiling at me. He had one drink and was unable to stay long due to a previous commitment. The rest of us remained, drinking. I had about 3 pineapple & rum drinks. Time to order food. So I put a burger & fries on my tab. About an hour or two hours later I got my food. FUCK, order is wrong. I take it back to the bar. I was told just give it to someone at my table because it will be tossed out in the trash.

I went back with the food “any one want a burger?” The wife of the first couple says “I do.” She had already shared a dinner basket with her man. They were a strange little couple. I kept telling myself not to judge them, but there was something just not right. She gobbled up the food. I hear him make a comment to her about eating more food. I said “you’re welcome and you owe me $4.” He went off with “We don’t share the same DNA…if she robs a bank I’m not responsible or if she kidnaps a 3 yr old I’m not responsible.”

I looked at him funny. All I wanted was an opportunity to get him to offer me the money for my food. I wouldn’t have taken it, the food was free. I was pushing him to see if he would give in and offer me the money, just to see if he could shut me up. But he went on rambling. Then I rambled with something about the institution of marriage and the sanctity of marriage. I looked at her asking her “Do you fuck him?” She laughs & giggles. “Yeah I know right?” He pipes in about something or another. Then I asked “and you still suck his dick?” I think that’s the moment that I freaked everyone out. He pipes in with “of course she does!” I yell at him “sure as long as she’s on her knees, she’s yours. but when she’s hungry you can’t buy her a fucking burger? or be a gentleman and offer to pay me for the burger?”

I don’t remember what set me off. Something triggered my response. I look back, even when it was happening I couldn’t stop myself. I was wanting to provoke him. There was something about him, that I just wanted to snap at him. I have no idea why. Maybe it was just because she’s feeding her face on what was supposed to be my burger, I ended up not eating til I got home. Tuna salad sammie with a side of dill pickle flavored crisps.

3girlsI stayed til 10:00 in the evening. “T” was really worried about me being able to drive home. I knew I didn’t have a problem. I did realize that I can’t get into this habit of going out with them every weekend. I could end up with a problem or two. Before I left, an old classmate walked into the bar. I had the biggest crush on him when I was younger. I looked at him really close as he spoke. What the hell about to him? He was going through his second divorce, has a 5-year-old child. Dude. You’re almost 50! Shocking. He tells me that there is going to be a 8th grade class reunion. WHAT?! Really? Funny, but yeah. I still know and talk to some of the kids I went to kindergarten with. We went to private school together. Imagine attending school with someone for 12 years. Longer than some marriages. This guy really got old, heavy and looks just bad. Then I wonder, what do they think of me when they see me? Do I look like I did when I was in school? Probably with a few pounds more and no braces. I told him to lemme know when it is so that I can go. But it was one of those “yeah call me and we’ll do lunch” comments. I have no intention on attending any of the class reunions. The night ended with the last hour of drinking no booze. Sobering up to drive home.

I’m thinking that I won’t be attending the next get together. Once again it’s that “bail” thing that I do.

 

Balance at the Boat Launch [WW91]

He text me to let me know he wanted to met me again.
I told him I had to work late at the office. He reminded me of the appointment he had so it worked out perfect. We met up at the boat launch.

He said “We can go over in the woods or over in the parking lot, pick!?

I like being his fantasy and his fun-time. I let him pick. We got out of my car, walked down the bike path a bit. Looking for a clearing in the brush. We both spotted a perfect little spot. It was a wooded area between the walking path and the river next to the boat launch. The land formed a wooded cliff. There were lots of trees, small bushes, rocks on the cliff. The land was so unstable and soft from earlier rain storms.

He unzipped his pants, pulling out his cock.  I had to work for this hard-on.  He had to keep watch. It was a nice day so many  people walking and riding bikes by us. I was sucking his cock for what seemed like forever. He grabbed a handful of my hair, pushing my head onto his cock. I looked past him, while I’m sucking hard on his cock. I see a jogger running past us on the path. We are hopefully hidden by some of the brush. He thrust his cock into my mouth, so hard, to keep me from moving. I did gag that time.

We were both standing up at this point, trying not to fall over on the slighted hill we were on. I was so afraid that if I lost my balance I would end up falling into the river. Holding my balance in heels isn’t easy. I still was wearing my heels from work. On one side of us was the walking path. On the other side of us was the river. He pulled me down a bit closer to the water. Because we were still a bit to close to the walking path. People could possibly see us.  We  passionately kissed for a while. I stroked his cock.  He said “sexy walking shoes by the way.” We kissed some more. He wasn’t getting as hard as I wanted him to. I figured I would pull out the last trick of the “dirty talk.” 

I want you to fuck me, baby. Fill my pussy with your hot cum.”

He started kissing me more intensely.

He asked “Do you want me? Fucking you hard?

Yes baby. Yes! I do. I need it. I need it from you.”

He pushed me over.  I am holding onto a tree branch again trying to keep my balance and not to fall into the river. I wasn’t wearing any panties, which made it easier. Not to mention sexy & slutty. He lifted my denim mini, slamming his hard cock into me. He grabbed onto of my blouse, pulling it, pulling my skirt, to pull me back onto his cock. It didn’t take long before he came. But not before he told me to be quiet. I was getting too loud. He finished cumming in me.  As I stood up, I saw some of his cum dripping out of me. I smiled. He smacked my ass and gave me that mischievous smile that I love so well.

We walked up the hill.  I tried not to lose my balance walking back up with the heels on. It had been much easier walking to the spot than it was leaving the spot.  We walked away with smiles on our faces.

He said “we need to catch up to our once a week thing.

I said “yes, I know.” I got into my car and drove, hearing him say “be careful.”

Read more about “Balance” by clicking the link below.

 

Risky Behavior [NSFW]

When I started the Zero to Hero Challenge, one of the prompts was to check out the WordPress reader. To follow & connect to some other blogs, find a topic that sparks an interest.  I have stated that I will begin to  Blog for Mental Health.  Reading a few of the blogs, I started to think back to when I was younger & acting out. I had mentioned that one of my issues, symptoms (hate that word) is impulsivity, including forms of risky behaviors.  Another one is a feeling of emptiness, boredom. This combination is not a good one for me, because it leads into bigger problems. My journey is to better understand myself, the illness and my triggers, so I started re-reading some of my old journals. Below is a story that I put together from a decision that I made on May 23, xxxx.

 

G texts me this late afternoon. Surprisingly, I didn’t have my phone with me, it was upstairs. I missed his first text by 15 minutes.

hey i met a guy who has some stuff. Feel like partying a bit? I know you’re hurting.”
I am shocked by this. G must be watching my Facebook, having an idea of my emotional state. Why he thought I would “party” with him….ok, back in the day. I partied A LOT. BUT we are responsible adults now. RIGHT?!
WRONG!

Yes? No? Maybe?

Sure, I’ll try some.

where u wanna meet me?

where ever

when?

when ever ur ready

SWEET! u wanna fuk too?????

of course if u got time!

OHHHH I got time! lol

where & when?

upstairs..I’ll sneak u in @ 6

k..45 mins..c u soon

ya that cool?

yup

sweet…u wanna fuck?

always

i’m ready 😉 do a rail together and then FUK!

k…want me there now?

NO..not yet…just be here by 6

k

k

ETA 5mins

I start walking down the stairs.  I hear his voice at the top of the stairs. “Damn that was fast
I have a fast car now.

that foreign crap??!!!

shut up! its a sweet ride!

Reaching into his pocket, he pulls out the little plastic baggie. I begin to feel instant regret, guilt and that “what if I get caught” feeling. He checks his phone, trying to unwrap the baggie. Do you have a dollar?

NO! Having my purse would make noise and being without it makes for an easy escape.

Laughing loudly he says an easy escape! Ok, babe…here, I got a buck. I know you are down, thought this would help, BUT its a ONE time deal, you understand?!

I smiled, as if to say “thank god” I understand!

He put some on the table. He is trying to close the baggie. His phone goes off…hey cut that up.

ME??!!!

yeah don’t act like you don’t know what you’re doing! you aint innocent. And why you being so quiet? talk to me.

Ahhh, i’m used to us NOT talking due to you not wanting anyone to hear us and risking getting caught.

Well, just cut it up into two..one for me and one for you.

I did as I was told.

He did his, handing me the rolled up bill, I do mine. He walks around for a bit.

You feeling ok? Good, huh? I just nod. I couldn’t believe what I had just done. My stomach sunk to the floor, til the feeling hit me. I walked over to the window to get some air. He shut off the light in the kitchen, walking towards me, pulls me toward him. Kisses me, just like we used to. We stand there by the window, kissing passionately, tongues dancing. I like sucking on his tongue when he pushes it into my mouth. His hands make their way inside my jeans (no panties again) his hands on my ass cheeks, squeezing hard, pulling me tightly against him. My hands on his back holding him, all the while kissing.

He starts to unzip his pants. He strokes his cock just for a few seconds. I feel him getting hard. Pulling a chair out…

I’m suppose to sit there?! is that where you want me to sit? 

Yessss, let me do what I do best. I squat down, look up at him smiling. I love it when you watch me. Watch Me

He winks at me, nodding just once. I slowly take his cock into my mouth. Both hands on his clean shaven pubic area, my thumbs pushing his balls up towards my lower lip. I suck long strokes, when I reach the base I lick his balls, also gently massaging with my thumbs. I move one hand to his shaft, stroking & sucking at that same time. He leans his head on his hand, I look up and see his eyes are closed as if he is sleeping, but with a slight smile on his face, like he’s at peace, quickly opening his eyes, staring at me again.

I decide it’s time to ride his cock now. I stand up, taking off my pants. You wanna feel this in your pussy? As he strokes his cock a bit.

Yessss, can i?

would love tooYeah ride me babe..fast & hard. I mount him, guiding his hard member into my awaiting pussy. That amazing feeling when it first goes in. sigh. I’m getting off on just feeling deep inside me. He’s watching my face. I’m looking at his lips, not looking him in the eyes. Riding.  Up & down, then changing to sliding back & forth. His hands on my ass, spreading my cheeks apart, pushing & pulling me while he is holding on.

His hands move from there to my shirt, lifting my shirt, up with my bra. He sucks on one nipple, not hard like he usually does, his hand is on the other. I can’t hold off much longer, I start moving faster, breathing harder. He knew I had cum, just by the way my thighs were shaking, my vocal cues are enough for him to know. We kiss a few times more. I wanted to whisper his name, but I just couldn’t get it out of my mouth. His hands are back on my ass, he is moving up thrusting into me quickly.

Yeah baby yeah, just like that…fuckkkkk….yeah gimme your cum baby. His eyes were closed, head tilted back. I heard that deep moan. That was it. We stopped moving.

Ready? 

Yup 123. I stood up.  Our DNA mixture dripped onto his thigh.

Oh, look you got me! 

Opps sorry. Giggling as I walk towards the bathroom. I noticed that we both came a lot. I was really wet. He was already dressed by the time I returned.  He walked me to the door, wait right here! till i text you that’s its clear

WHAAAAA?!

I’m gonna go stand my the side door as cover!

             ohhh gotcha. I pretty much run to my car.

There’s the reckless, risky behavior I spoke about. I understand how I used the drugs & sex. In a strange way, I used those to fill the emptiness I was feeling at that time. It wasn’t about love or getting high, but more about feeling something.  It was about being distracted from whatever was really causing me pain at the moment in my life. Using both as some sort of band-aide, as if that would ease the true pain I was experiencing at the time. The sex was great, it always is when it’s like this. The rush of it all,  that becomes the addiction, right? Do I feel guilty about it, no. Should I?

After reading my journal entries  from years ago. I’m thankful that I learned something from that risky behavior. I learned to see some of my triggers. Not to hold everything inside. Not to be afraid to share with that special someone, who will do his best to listen, help and most important to me, is to say that everything is gonna be ok,  I’m right here with you. There are situations, incidents or even drama that might push me into that direction again.  Sometimes I have a very difficult time fighting the urge not to go back to that “Charlie Sheen lifestyle” as I like to call it. It’s all part of growing, maturing and understanding. Never boring that’s for sure.

 

Morning After Bruises and Sex Bruises are Good Bruises [NSFW]

bruiseMe: “nice artwork”
X: “woah!!! I didn’t think that I hit you that hard…I’m sorry!!!”
Me: “don’t be, it was all good”
X: “I don’t want you to get into trouble”

Me: “Thats from you smacking me in the face while I was sucking your cock!!!”
X: “Oh hell! Crazy….”
Me: “Yeah but I like it! Your turn next tho!”
X: “Dirty girl!! Can’t wait=P ”

A conversation I had once upon a time with someone from my past. The photo is me, the next day. I will admit that YES, it was a turn on to see & YES. I felt a range of emotions, criminal in the sense that I had a souvenir that I could touch & it would trigger the memories again and I could relive the sex over again in my mind. Which I felt kind of dirty at times, yet awful horny at others wanting to experience the scene all over again. I can’t believe I still have the photo, wait..it’s another form of souvenir because now I can talk about it and relive it all over again *wink* The Conversation above is actual texts that I kept in “notes” hidden away from the world. I made reference to this situation in “SLAP” It was my first KOTW entry. I couldn’t find this at the time of the “SLAP” post because I had saved it on a flashdrive.

Below is a copy of an entry from my “old journal” that once was on blogger. [If you recognize this entry or have questions about it please address me privately]  The photo is really me. The next day.

We started kissing again, our hands roaming over each other, his hand finds my wet pussy, he kept trying to put his fingers somewhere else, marksonface but I moved and bit his lower lip “OUCH!” I smiled. We kissed some more, off went his sweatshirt, he unfastens my bra, each of my nipples is gets his attention, I look at him, he looks at me to watch my reaction. Closing my eyes, I lean back … his hands inside my skirt pocket grabbing my ass, pulling me closer to him. My hand on his cock stroking it, cupping his balls with the other hand, still kissing.

His body is hot & sweaty, he pulls back from me, points to the poker table. His pants were down, my skirt went up, panties off. I knew he loves the boots & skirt look, so that’s what I wore along with a sweater. He had me bent over, “you find it”…I quickly turned around to face him. I dropped to my knees to suck on his hard throbbing cock, getting him even more ready if that is even possible. Hearing him breath & sigh was hot. I turned back around with one hand on the black bumper of the the table, the other bracing myself. He begun pounding me hard & fast. “Fuck Me…” I uttered. The building echoes and I know we had to keep quiet.

I was trying not to get too loud, but the waves were starting to build, I must have gotten a bit loud. I felt his left hand on my mouth mixed with my hair, he was gripping & squeezing hard, so hard that he left marks on my face. Lines. The third one is very faint. You can see them in the photo. His other hand on my shoulder pulling me. The poker table was shaking from us going at it. He let go when my first orgasm was ending, he grabbed onto my skirt using it like a harness, I was listening to hear it rip, but it didn’t *whew*

I enjoy a beautiful mark sometimes, there is a time & place for them. I enjoy them more when they appear the next day unplanned. I also enjoy leaving marks on others. I have been known to leave deep bite marks on a man’s chest. I love sucking on the inner thigh and feeling a man pull away and it makes the sensation even more intense for him along with the mark. I had never left hand prints, scratches I have left on a few arms & backs.

So, there you have it…my KOTW..marks…it’s a positive for me.

NylonLvrMan

Not sure if I have ever mentioned NylonLvrMan. He is very much into nylons, wearing them mostly. He texts me usually on the weekends. This is one of our more recent conversations.

Have you had a chance to talk to your “friend” about all of us getting together?”

(I never mentioned it, because I believe it is merely all part of Nylon’s fantasy, nor would I have any intention I meeting him for sex. Lunch or dinner maybe, never sex. I’m not here for sex, merely to listen to him talk.)

I am only gonna mention is to him when you tell me exactly when you are coming here. No point in mentioning it if there are no definite plans.

I hope to be in —– for the first weekend in July

I am in a burb, about 100 miles from there.

Yes I remember

oh ok, we can discuss it in detail closer to the date I know he’ll play.

Cool I hope it all works out for all of us.

me too..ok honey, time for me to go now, bedtime & I have to work in the morning

night sweetheart.

[dated; May 2010]

Update: NylonLvrMan & I NEVER get together. He didn’t contact me to remind me or to make any attempt to meet up. However, I did hear from him about a year later. He had gone through some life changes & found a new woman who is into the same things he is into. I’m glad he found someone to connect with after all he has been through, nice guy.

The Response

I had used my iphone to send Mr. X a voice message Wishing him Happy Holidays and letting him know that he was on my mind. I didn’t hear anything all day. I figured…”that’s it, I’m done, I will NEVER bug him again.” How dumb I felt afterwards for sending it. Thinking back to my father’s rule “never let them see you cry.”

Most little girls are taught that its ok, to show emotions, cry & the world will crumble at your feet. I was taught its a sign of weakness, do not let anyone know that they hurt you…unless..unless..its to your benefit. I was furious with myself after I sent it. Stupid Vodka!

Around 8pm tonight, I had put my iphone on the charger, stopped looking for a response from him….I got it…the response to the voice memo.

NICE voice mail. And it’s of no surprise that you are enjoying your iphone as you do. Seems quite the perfect fit 😀 …. Miss you too!!!! We’ll catch up some time with fun too!!! just in from a work day, a favor for a friend. It’s shower/din din and bed for me now though. I’m beat. talk to you later….”

I was thinking back to a time when we shared a mutual (woman) friend who adored him. She would send him email upon email. He would tell me that he would never answer her, knowing that she would eventually stop writing. I thought “OMG, he’s doing that to me now!”

Even though he answered, I know that this is my fix for awhile, I don’t wanna bother him anymore. The Holidays are fast approaching and that will keep me busy. I didn’t answer him back. I won’t for now. This leave it open at my end.

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