Why isn’t One Man Enough?

If you are a regular reader of mine, you already know about Mr. Sam.

Last week Mr. Sam hit a rough patch in our friendship. The next day I unloaded most of my emotional wreckage onto my Beloved. He sat there listening to me babble on about Mr. Sam. I think my Beloved thought that the newness of Mr Sam would wear off. However, it has not. Although Mr Sam tends to get under my skin, so does my Beloved so that’s not a big deal. My Beloved knows I get bored with life, friends, family and activities.sassycat3000, latina, sexblogger, relationships, lovers, affairs, wayward

Boredom is my main trigger that gets me into major trouble when I don’t keep a close eye on it. I can get into a lot of trouble when I’m bored. Is that the same as being bored with one man? I believe we were never met to be monogamous. Does that mean we get bored with one partner? I have become bored with my Beloved? Maybe. Routine. Is that boredom. Is it that I am a different person now that I was when I first married him? I think I am a little different, not much. I think that the woman I am now was hiding all those years ago.

My beloved & I have gotten into a comfortable marital rut. You know, routines, patterns and competency. And what is my trigger? Right, boredom. Routines and patterns cause boredom. Through out our marriage I have always had another man in the background. I refer that guy to “the drunk I need in my life.” Because 9 times out of 10 the guy who is in the background is some addict, mainly alcoholics. They provide the chaos and drama I need to keep me going.

Looking back to the early 2000’s when my life hit the skids, when I had my mid-life crisis. It was then I used the internet to escape from reality. I met a few men, through social sites I was on. These men don’t haunt me like they used too. The ones that are fresh in my memory are my 805muse, he was around for almost 7 years. A daily dose of my drunken muse, until he reconnected with sobriety and his cult the JW’s. Not sure about the time frame, but then enters Charlie. Charlie comes back into my life, having his drunk ass in my life was wonderful UNTIL his toxicity contaminated me after years of being clean. I enjoyed having Charlie in my life. However we both knew it was time to end it. So we did just that.

In October 2016 I met Mr. Sam. He has consumed a lot of my time since our meeting. I have neglected so much work, chores and other things. We text during the day when I’m at home. We text in the last evenings before I go to bed. Mr. Sam is always there. There was a few weekends ago when I kicked him to the curb for something I pushed him to do. After a night of thinking I might have lost him, I cried to my Beloved about losing my background guy.  I’m not sure what my Beloved was expecting with this new man in the background at all. I like having Mr Sam in my life, I know he’s always there for me when I need him. He listens, we laugh a lot, we party together and we can understand each other on a different level than my Beloved and I. I really do love Mr Sam, in my own crazy way, more so than the others. I really would hate to give him up. I can’t see what life would be like without him, yet I know deep in my heart – nothing lasts forever.

The morning I cried to my Beloved about Mr Sam, I asked him “why can you be enough? Why isn’t one man enough for me? What’s wrong with me, I feel the need to have two men or sometimes more in my life at all times?” I felt horrible about saying that to him, had he said I would have died. He sat there and listened, comforting me as I cried about the possibility of losing the other man in my life. What sick & twisted shit is this?

Mr Sam looked at me at said “You just want to combine me & your Beloved into one man, into your perfect man.” I laughed and smiled and asked “is that possible?” LOL. Deep in my heart I know this will not end how I envisioned it, but will probably end in more tears and shattered hearts than happily ever after. I wish I knew why one man is not enough for me.

This was Wicked Wednesday’s Prompt #248 

Monday Morning Masturbating [MM131]

It’s a gray drizzly day in Northern Illinois. However, I made it through Monday with a smile on my face after receiving & reading these text along with these photos.

Good morning, Cat….. Thought of your new bra and wanted to show you the effect. I love seeing your breasts swelled in the cups. I like the color and the delicate decoration displaying such beautiful cleavage. It almost looks like your hand is between your thighs, I’d like to think you fingering your clit while taking your photo. Would love to see more of this brassiere, with you in it, of course.

….I woke up thinking of these pics….. I looked at them briefly before going to bed. You are desirable and I got hard thinking of you and as I squeezed my balls and stroked my cock I decided to show you….. the feeling of lust was still there, so I thought of sucking your nipples as I stroked my cock and felt myself cumming so I grabbed my phone.

masturbation monday, latina, sassycat3000, sexblogger, wank, cleavage

As I look at this new photo I may have to masturbate again….You are incredibly sexy, Cat….

I was busy with family things today. However, I arrived home an hour before I had to drive out-of-town for the second half of my work day. I’m sure you can imagine what I was doing before I had to leave for work.

I hope you enjoyed Masturbation Monday as much as we did!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

What are My Strengths? [BFMH]

So what are my character strengths? It’s always difficult to answer these type of questions. I got help with this and took a very intense questionnaire to get the following results. Starting with my top strength, the following are my top 5.

  1.  Humor & Playfulness – Like to laugh and tease, bringing smiles to those that are important. I try to see the lighter side of the situation.  Not sure if this is correct because I don’t always look at the lighter side of intense situations not when it involves me. However, yes, for those in my inner circle I will try to make them laugh because it’s a way for me to cope with the situation and to cope with the fact that my loved one suffering whether emotional, physical or spiritual, etc.
  2.  Judgement, Critical Thinking and Open-Mindedness – Thinking things through and examining it from all sides are important aspects of who I am. I don’t jump to conclusions and I rely on solid evidence to make my decisions. Yes, this is true. I need the facts, just the facts to make my decision about an important situation. I need as much information as I can get and process. However, when I hear the word “judgement”, I think of judging others. Most of my close friends tell me I judge harshly. I try not too, but if someone is making a decision and I have already told them it’s bad, then I judge. Rolling my eyes at them, go help them if they try to share their shit with me after the damage has been done.
  3.  Capability to Love and Be Loved – I value close relations with others, those in which sharing & caring are reciprocated. The people I feel closest to are those people who feel closest to me. True. I ask myself a lot what is love because there are times I feel numb. I doubt that the feelings I have felt for others is love, friendship. However, I will not tolerate a one-sided relationship of any kind. I will end it if I feel I am giving of myself (too much) and getting nothing in return. I may not contact my close friend daily  but when they reach out, I am always there for them.sassycat3000, latina, mental health, emotional, moody, black and white brunette, depressed
  4.  Social Intelligence – I am aware of the motives & the feelings of other people. I know what to do to fit into different social settings and I know what to do to put others at ease. Yeah, this is true. However, I can go deep into this topic. First thing that came to me, is that I want to fit in and belong to a group. When I don’t get that right away I find it challenging to make it a goal to fit in. Once I get into the group, I tend break from that mold they want their members to fit into and get pushed back out of the group. But by then I no longer am interested in being part of that group. Two; I always say “there is a motive for every human action.” I want to know what’s pushing them to do what they do. Most of the time I can feel what my close friends are feeling, I try to turn the tables so they can then see it from the other side. However, most of the time I can’t do this for myself. I need someone to turn the table for me.
  5.  Honest, Authenticity and Genuineness – I am an honest person. Not only by speaking, but by living an authentic & genuine life. I am down to earth and without pretense. I am a “real” person. I would disagree with this one. I am honest with it benefits me. I can be brutally honest to where I unintentionally hurt the other persons feelings.  I do not live a truthful, authentic life. I did once upon a time, now I’m lying to myself and others.

E[Lust] 90


Photo courtesy of Rebel’s Notes

Welcome to Elust 90

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #91 Start with the rules, come back February 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Conflicted part 1

Glow

Happy Endings

 

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Please You to Please Me

How to suck my cock – part 1 (attitude)

 

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Visions of Sugarplums

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

 

Writing About Writing

The Curious Case of Trigger Warnings
Writing About It All

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

PLEASING THE MISTRESS
Reader Q&A: Dominant women struggle, turn-ons
Chastity Questions
Not every hole is a goal

Erotic Non-Fiction

A Picture is Worth…
Morning Stretch
Lovemaking Almost Too Brilliant To Describe
The GP
I Want
Indescribable Pleasure
Humiliating an ex-Nazi: Raylene’s 2nd dozen
Preparation
I love big, fat dicks

Erotic Fiction

Dude, You’re Wet!
When Love Becomes a Weakness
On a Silver Platter
The Silent Treatment
A Seasonal Affair
Three in a Stall
Schoolgirl Uniform
The New Principal 4: Escape

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Anal Retentive Or Just OCD?

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

BuzzFeed Femdom

Poetry

-06.01.17_13:22-
Mistletoe: A Lusty Limerick

 

Elust 88

Having Drinks with Mr. Sam

Sunday night is quieter from the other days, except during football season. But, due to the weather this was a dead Sunday at the dive bar. Mr. Sam must have walked in seconds before I did, he was still taking off his coat. There wasn’t a good place at the bar, so we walked over to the corner booth. It’s a round booth in the corner, tucked away from onlookers.
“Sitting here isn’t going to be obvious, is it?” He said.
“I don’t care. We aren’t doing anything wrong.” I replied.
“Yet…you forgot to say yet.”
I laughed after he said that. We sat there for a few minutes before Astro walked over to turn on the overhead lights and the bar lights. We both looked at each other and smiled.
He walked back to his side of the bar. A few minutes later “Bubbles” walked up to us … “How are you guys doing? Hey, I can’t believe how stupid Charlie is and what he did.”
I didn’t want to be in the dark, but I didn’t understand what she was talking about. I sat there and nodded my head. “Don’t worry no one associates you with him anymore.”
Now that made me kind of nervous, considering what other shit I have heard and been told on the street. “Well, thank heaven for that. We haven’t been together in years. We hung out together these passed through years. You know, Charlie his charming personality, it’s difficult to stay mad at him.”
“I know right. He really is sweet. But a total fuck-up.”
I laughed. We talked about some of our mutual bar friends and life. She got up after she finished her drink with us, walking back to sit at the bar.

henryshardsoda, drinking, alcohol, beer, photo a day, 365

Day 15 of 365

Mr. Sam & I were talking about general stuff, there was never any touching each other. We have tried to keep the status of our relationship a secret, but after last Friday I think it’s a bust. I haven’t even written about that night yet! oh lord.
We stayed until about 10pm. Catching a nice little buzz, we left and headed to his place.

“Are you gonna be brave enough to come inside or you gonna just drop me off?” I’m deciding on the two options I had, “Yes, I’ll go inside with you.”
I knew he lives with his parents who are both suffering from several health issues. I felt like a teenager again being snuck into the house. He held my hand as we walked up the stairs. Opened the door with his name on it, which I laughed. His parents were asleep, and it was so quiet in the house. I stood there as he closed the door behind him. “Do you want water or coffee?”
“Water…I need water.” I answered.
I sat on the end of his bed drinking my bottled water. He sat next to me, we didn’t speak a word. He started to gently caress my arm back and forth. I felt relaxed. He leaned in to kiss me and I kissed him back. We laid back on the bed, moving up on the bed. My boots are hanging off the edge of the bed because I wasn’t taking them off. He rolled over on top of me. We’re still kissing, I feel him grind his hard cock on me over our jeans. Can this really be happening? Are we dry humping? Yes. we are. Inside I’m laughing but on the outside we are kissing hard & deep. He rolls over on to his back and I curl up next to him. He holds me tight, caressing my back. I drift off on his chest. I wake up to the sound of myself snoring. He laughed. “I wasn’t falling asleep because I know you hafta leave soon.”
“Another 30 minutes.”
We talked about the rest of the week and he showed me some of his art work. Time was up and he walked me out.

Read what happens next in “Hiding Away” 

Will Work for Heels [KOTW]

High heels. Ever since I can remember my mother as always told me “You have beautiful feet and gorgeous legs, you should try to always wear heels.” I think because my mother was short and had Barney Rubble feet she wanted to live vicariously through me. I did listen to her advice (most of the time).

Then I met my Beloved, who also told me the same thing. In 2008, I hit a low point in my life. My beloved had mentioned me taking some photos of my legs in nylons wearing heels for him to wank to when he was in the mood. I complied. My self-esteem was still low even after all his attention and compliments, he suggested I use one of the photos as my avatar on an old social media site I was on at the time.

So I did.

The attention I received was addicting. I was first approached by a gentleman who I refer to as “Papi” who asked me if I would consider modeling for him in a pair of shoes who would send me. Wait. What? I recieved a pair of Guess Black peep toe sling backs and a pair of two-tone brown Charles David pumps. I took the photos and a video for him. I emailed him the photos that my Beloved had taken. Not quality photos images, of course but its all I had to work with. There was one little thing, the shoes had been masturbated with and had cum inside them.

sassycat3000 shoes

Thanks to my 818Shoe Papi for giving me these shoes!

I know, some of you are thinking…GROSS! Not me. Oh, its not my fetish, but I do get off on the attention. I get off on knowing that these men (that I have never met in person) buy shoes with me in mind and masturbate with the shoe and then send them to me.

Oh I did forget to mention “MarkX” who invited me to check out a website he had found. MarkX masturbated while wearing his own pair of high heels and dressed in panties. MarkX is the only one (so far) that I have sent my shoes, panties and leather clothes to. He masturbated with my items, heels included and returned everything back to me. I got off on know he was jerking off to my things. When I joined the site he suggested it snowballed from there. It was a shoe fetish site that had several different categories of shoes, even men in heels, Trannies in heels, trashed heels, you get the idea. There were a few women on the site, but after a while of getting bombarded with emails it was overwhelming and I pretty much let it go.

Read more about Cat’s Adventures with Shoes

I have met several interesting men through that website, most have disappeared. However the high heels they sent to me, most of those still remain. I was thinking about donating some of them. They’re old and worn out and I just don’t have the room in my closet for them anymore. I don’t wear them as much as I did either. That’s due to my broken foot and soon I’ll have to have a surgery to fused the bones in my foot. No more heels after that.

I can’t stop myself when walking into any store that sells shoes to go and look at them. I love looking at them. I don’t need them, not fetish here like that. But I do enjoy watching men looking at my legs and shoes and feet when I’m in public. When I go to the “dive bar” I’ve worn heels during the summer and watching the guys look at me is so very addicting. I think of some of them who may have a heel fetish and will be wanking off later to a snapshot memory of me in heels.

I do have certain styles of shoes that I love more than others. I love wedges, always have. They are the easiest to walk on and most comfortable for me. I did buy a pair of wedges at the end of the season, only $5

black wedges, sassycat3000, sexblogger, shoe fetish, high heels

I love shoes with ankle straps. I’m not into peep toe shoes too much, I’ll wear them but if I can get something else I will. I don’t wear very strappy heels, like those that are normally advertised during wedding season or prom. I love platform shoes, mary janes and the traditional pump when needed.

I have taken so many photos with heels that I’ve lost count and sadly my blog is so unorganized that the photos are all over the place. I’ve tried to get a few together to share on this post.

This is Christmas 2016.

silver shoes, sassycat3000, sexblogger, high heels,

 

 

Mental Health and Recycling [podcast]

Below are some of the highlights to this podcast!

Talking about mental health, going to back to therapy to get some help or a redirect on my mental illness. I thought it would be a great idea, for a redirect or a refresher course on my issues. But instead it turned out to be worse than I thought. I felt depressed and just plain icky after leaving my session. Not sure how much more I am willing to invest in proceeding any further with all of this.

Recycling. My idea may not be a popular one, but I do think that some that it could work. However, is it too late to even start seriously thinking about recycling on this planet?

If you have any suggestions for topics …leave a comment.

And as always,

Thanks for listening…..Laterness People!

Day 5 of 365 Thankful for my Fans

Every so often I get a message from a fan or follower. Most of the time it has a dick photo attached.dick, penis, sexblogger, instagram, latina,

And I add those to my collection of cock

.See. See, look at the cock! He’s so proud of his cock. Not bad, but I blurred it out to protect the guilty.

And then there is those messages that I like to share. I know that the photos below, don’t really count towards my 365, but I’m including them anyway.

Now …. yesterday I recorded a podcast because someone had suggested I make that one (only) of my New Years resolutions.

Later that evening I received this tweet on twitter. @5150Silverback on twitter is one of my top fans/followers. He’s intelligent, funny and generous. What’s not to adore about him?

The second was a message I received on Instagram for a man who goes by @cactusdqp on Instagram. Go check out his Facebook page called Rural Photography.

I really appreciate this love & support. It’s the little things that tickle my pretty pink places!

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