The Naked Truth [F4TF7]

Are you at ease being naked? No, I’m not a big fan of being naked.. Not in front of strangers or first time lovers. I have gotten used to being naked in front of doctors. I had a few major accidents and getting undressed/dressed and having surgeries I just don’t bother. I figured it’s not the first naked body they’ve seen.

When it comes to lovers, even photographs of certain parts of my body I am so nervous to show or self-conscious to let anyone see me naked. I remember a time when I had sex with a lover, but was so nervous for him to see my naked body. He said “You can keep your shirt on, wear a skirt so you can pull it up. You can be on top.” I agreed. After a few more times like that and a gentle hand I ended up stripping off my clothes before he could once I got used to him. rainbow socks

There was an alcoholic ex I had who would degrade me. He would say things like “You’re so fat, whose gonna wanna have sex with you?” or something about my scars “they’re ugly to look at and I don’t want to see them.” We eventually stopped having sex after a year. We broke up after I choked him one night when he had drank too much, running his mouth. I sat on his chest and choked him. Years, years later I ran into him at a local bar. We talked about that night he told me, “I said those things so you wouldn’t leave me. I thought you would stay with me because you were afraid to leave. Never thought you would try to kill me.”

He did a lot of mental damage on my self-esteem, being naked in front of someone. Then I met a man who would marry me. He tells me every day how beautiful I am – naked and dressed. He watches me get dressed. It used to bother me, but when he gets a hard-on while watching me dress/undress gives me a boost in my esteem. A couple of times we turned that into a little show. Well, I did. He enjoyed the happy ending at the end of his show.

Do you feel more comfortable clothed or unclothed? I feel more comfortable half-dressed. When I’m at home I walk around in a t-shirt, panties and thigh high socks (if it’s cold). In the summer I wear a tank top, panties or running shorts. I always wear a bra. I can’t stand boob sweat. I do not like that my nipples get a bit sore from rubbing on the shirt when I don’t wear a bra.



The Fine Line [F4TF2]

f4tf_button1In a monogamous relationship what constitutes cheating?

Is sexting cheating? A stolen kiss at a party? What about enjoying sexual fantasies about a co-worker or your spouse’s friend?

Where is the line?


Right. There is a fine line, it’s blurry and fine. I have been both cheated on and been the wayward spouse.

I would have to say that in a monogamous relationship – cheating is anything, such as the above that is done with love, lust, desire and passion. When a person brings emotions in the mix. That’s when its cheating in my book. In my opinion cheating is an emotional & physical affair, something that is ongoing with one specific person over a time. Sharing each other’s time, intimate details of each others lives, having a physical connection.

Being married a second time around I learned a lot from my first marriage.

  1. When a partner cheats it’s not always about love.
  2. The only rules for cheating are those that are agreed upon between the two partners. Meaning it’s not a one size fits all.

Sexting, to me in my opinion isn’t cheating. It’s mutual masturbation. I don’t take nude photos of myself so sending them is out of the question. Sure I’ll sext with a person, but that’s it. There is no “high” for me, I’m flattered a guy would even want to sext with me because I’m really bad at it.

A stolen kiss? On the cheek? No. On the lips? No. The line is thin now. Kiss on the lips with tongue? The line is thin and so blurry I can’t see it. I would say, the ice is about to crack and two people will fall in and drown in the icy water. Because the passion, excitement start to build, almost everyone knows where this will lead to. So I’m leaning towards a yes. Yes, especially if sexual tension between the two people is there, that attraction, etc.

A fantasy is imagination. It’s what you do with the fantasy that will decide if it results in cheating. I have a fantasy about pegging one specific man. I would use hubby but he already said “no, that’s not for me.” So, I’m left with what? I know this other man will let me peg him. We have discussed it. I would talk to hubby about it first and try to get permission (if given the opportunity for pegging). If he said NO and I did it anyway. YES that’s cheating. Because I’m doing it behind his back. I’m being intimate with someone else outside the relationship.  Keep in mind that’s if my fantasy turns into reality. If it stays a fantasy, that’s what it is. No it’s not cheating.

I guess what I think cheating boils down to is, as long as I keep my heart and my inner self for him. It’s his for no one else to see, break or touch. My heart & inner self is the previous thing I can give someone I love – him.