The Lemon Song

My 805Muse is trying to get back into my life. After the last email conversation we had, he waits a few weeks (his normal routine) to answer me.

On May 8th:¬†“had to peek thought so so busy…thoughts of your last email but with no comment cuz I’d really rather catch you when we can chat here, yes?

I suggested he get a texting app. He then replied with “OR…maybe I should consider a shopping spree like shoes or heels? Ship you sumpin fun or sumpin hot or sumpin untamable? :)”

I didn’t answer him. My #1 fan was here visiting, so I didn’t want to start a conversation with him.

On May 29th, while on my way to O’Hare Airport I check my email and find a few different emails from him. He didn’t send one lengthy email, but several small one thought or one sentence emails. So annoying. Read more about my 805muse.

I know. Shoes? The tat shop for another little one! a cool bar for a drink and pool and fun talk…maybe not in this order.”

“if you were here, i’d suit myself and you too. AND you’d like it! shoes not required…”

“would you like our time on tape? your own copy? something to hide or look at later? think about while you are on your vibrating bike? wind in face and mouth ready for a cold beer and a smile? ūüėÄ I would make sure you got fed.”

“out the door for errands. peeks tomorrow and and update for our minds. nice to see your face and hear from you. the shoe thing has me shopping in my head for you. if you were here? we’d shop together…man.”

Those were each a separate emails. I never answered them, until this morning. I sent him a brief audio clip, instead of a typed email. He quickly responded with “a reply from der car…FUN!!! do you reach down between your legs while driving? lol who does “squeeze my lemon” anyway? Phil Collins? (i see you giggling)

I sent him another quick audio after work. Telling him about heading out to the bar for a end of year work party. Within seconds I get another email.”YUM! a watering hole. *sigh* i’d so be buying thw ater and having you at my side while we did fish, brothers & water OR beers & whiskey. GULP. Led Zep sings derlemon song… and when you’re done? When work is out? Play me Please… sit with me by the pool!!!! how fun is THAT? :D”

The game that we play is that we express our sentiment or emotions through music, lyrics. I knew at some point he would send me the link to the song or the mp3. Next email was the link with the statement “Can’t quit you!

I looked up the lyrics. I know that my muse prefers Blues/Rock genre of music. One of the things I respected about him, was that he knew his music. He & I always had that, holding us together. Add in that we communicate our feelings through the music. I had never met anyone that did that, besides myself.

I should have quit you, long time ago. [X2]
I wouldn’t be here, my children, down on this killin’ floor.¬†I should have listened, baby, to my second mind¬†[X2]
Everytime I go away and leave you, darling, you send me the blues way down the line.¬†Said, people worry I can’t keep you satisfied.¬†
Let me tell you baby, you ain’t nothin but a two-bit, no-good jive.¬†Went to sleep last night, worked as hard as I can,¬†
Bring home my money, you take my money, give it to another man. 
I should have quit you, baby, such a long time ago. 
I wouldn’t be here with all my troubles, down on this killing floor.¬†

Squeeze me baby, till the juice runs down my leg. [X2]
The way you squeeze my lemon, I’m gonna fall right out of bed.¬†

I’m gonna leave my children down on this killing floor. – “The Lemon Song” by Led Zeppelin

The bold lettering are the lyrics that he is sharing with me. He “can’t quit me” even after a year away from me. It will be six years in July. How can two people have an internet relationship for that long? He continued sending me another video link to a Led Zeppelin tribute band of all females. They were pretty good.

Then his final email came. “shine on you crazy diamond… ūüôā¬†¬†we’d have a blast at a concert together. ¬†You think? :D”


I am pretty positive that after reading his emails that he is possibly off the wagon. Something in my gut tells me that he is drinking a bit, along with the idea that he is telling me this stuff in hopes that his sentiments will be accepted. I think he thinks this is what I want from him. Maybe once upon a time, however not anymore. I want the stuff that he can’t give me. His emotion, a peek into his soul & spirit of who he truly is. I want inside of him. It’s a waste of time for us, he has gotten stuck. I’m walking too far ahead. This type of conversation from him no longer entices me. I’m not sure if I will answer him any time soon. Why should I?


Last letter of the A to Z Challenge. Zodiac. I was born in the second part of April. That makes me a Taurus. I met a woman online back in 2009. She was part of a triangle I was involved in. My 805 Muse, her & me. She is a trained astrologist, she wanted to know our birth information so that she could do a very brief chart on us. My 805Muse wasn’t having any part of it. Later I would find out that it was all against his religiousness beliefs.

Her emails were always filled with lots of information. I am curious about it, however I don’t put any faith into it.

YOU have Venus in Pisces…BUT, your mercury is aries (mercury is how you think, communicate, and has to do with your tastes in things…)…
here’s your planetary set-up:
sun – taurus (it’s at 1 degree, so that means that it is also 29 degrees of aries
moon – taurus
mercury – aries
venus – pisces
mars – taurus
jupiter – gemini (jupiter is¬†conjunct your ascendant–that means it’s in the same sign)
saturn – pisces
uranus – virgo
neptune – scorpio
pluto – virgo

sun:¬†1 degree o’ taurus (is also technically, 29 degrees aries–it’s on the cusp)

ascendant: 23 degrees 13′ gemini

moon: 9 degrees 25′ taurus

mercury: 3 degrees 51′ aries (on cusp, is also 29 degrees pisces)

venus: 15 degrees 17′ pisces

mars: 2 degrees 47′ taurus (on cusp, is also 29 degrees aries)

jupiter: 27 degrees 28′ gemini

saturn: 24 degrees 48′ pisces

uranus: 15 degrees 56′ virgo retrograde

neptune: 21 degrees 21′ scorpio retrograde

pluto: 16 degrees 8′ virgo retrograde

~uranus, neptune, and pluto are only important in aspects to the other planets and if they are in close relationship with the midheaven or the ascendant…and, they are often in retrograde… ~your jupiter conjuncts your ascendant:Jupiter conjunct Ascendant

You will be known as a seeker of knowledge. This may be through travel, study, teaching, religion or philosophy. You are likely to appear a very optimistic and a buoyant type of personality, jolly, cheerful and full of good humor. However, this may also be just a mask you wear to shield some of the inner insecurities that you do not wish others to see.  You may need to be very careful about your food intake, since being overweight in later life through overindulgence can often be a problem if not carefully observed. By and large however, this placement is a very favorable one indeed, adding a great deal to your confident approach to life. You are likely to appear as a larger than life type of person, able to display more confidence and enthusiasm than perhaps you really feel at the time, but of great benefit to those around you who may be sagging somewhat. You have the gift of being able to inspire confidence in others. Look out for opportunities that are likely to be available to you every 12 years, when Jupiter makes a pass over sensitive points in your chart.

Those segments are just a few of what she used to send me. She used the information like that to assist her in her actions, reactions to other people. To help her better understand other people in her life, along with having an edge on what was to come.

I never used any of the information she gave me. I appreciated all the work she put into doing it for me. I figured I was gonna wing it from day to day. Reading her emails today, I don’t see anything. Like something she said that could have helped me in future decision making for my life.

It’s fun to read a horoscope every now & then. Nothing more and nothing less.


Melt App [Review]

I heard about a new audio app for iOS called Melt.

Melt is for people to express their most important thoughts in voice. Melt is Voice-over compatible for visually impaired users!

This app was created by Jason Lew, Shane Wey at Superhero Labs. Based in San Francisco, California. 

My Cons

  • There is only 60 seconds of record time.
  • Once you push the “blue” record button, another screen pops up. “What’s on your mind?” with another “blue” record button and you must tap that again to record.
  • Can not upload any art or photo to go with your audio
  • For iOS only
  • There is no saving of recorded audio. You must upload or hold it until you’re able to upload it.
  • There is no usable website.
  • I have noticed that there are a lot of younger members/users. Mostly female from the looks in the “new melters” section. There are a lot of silent members.
  • No description section for 60 second audio. There is no use of hashtags.
Melt iOS App

Melt iOS App

My Pros

  • Can share via Facebook, Twitter, email, text message and URL.
  • You can share the audio immediately after recording or share someone else’s (including yours) later on at a more convenient time.
  • There is a total number of plays on your profile, to let you know how many times your Melts have been played.
  • Has a “Featured” members section. Great way to “promote” the frequent users.
  • Commenting abilities. Both typed & audio. However, if a member uses the audio reply underneath that specific Melt, the response is not directly linked under the original Melt but placed into the main “Melt feed.”
  • Ability to “like” a Melt.


Always curious about new audio platforms, I signed up.

Signed Up for new app

Signed Up for new app


Once you sign up, you notice there is a drop down menu in the left hand corner. There you can see your options for moving around within the app.

Home: contains your followers “Melt feed.”

Me: contains your profile, along with all your Melts. You can see how many Melts you have uploaded. View both your followers and those that you are following. You can see the total number of plays. Currently mine is at 174.  There is a section where you can edit your profile. Name, Tagline, Location and website. Upload a bio photo. You can email an advertisement to someone about your new discovery.

Melters: Breaks down the membership in three sections. Featured. New and Search. An excellent way to found users to listen to and follow. A plus is their “featured members” section.

Melts: is the main feed where all Melts are found. Where you can listen to the new stuff.

This app is fairly new. I’m sure that there will be more changes, improvements in the near future for this growing app. It’s great for sharing a single thought on twitter. Facebook people tend to read posts verses clicking the play button. I can’t see it being popular on Facebook.  There isn’t a lot of interaction among users. There is ability to type a comment, but this is about audio. It starts to defeat the point of the app if there is more typed commenting. Difficult to reply or debate with only 60 seconds to the audio.  Of course there are always the core community users of any app, no difference here. There are a few users who truly enjoy this app. Who use it to promote awareness to their beliefs on a subject. There are some users who use it to share about their day in school. Some record their everyday routines, just being silly. I can’t see this app being used by podcasters or those who enjoy using audio for audio blogging in length. This app is short & to the point. Get your thought out there.

Once your Melt is uploaded you recieve an email with the link to your Melt. There you can also share via Twitter, Facebook, URL and embed. Below is an example of a recent Melt I did.

My Writing Process: A Blog Tour

I’m sitting at my local watering hole on a Friday night and Jack of “Frisky in the 916” ¬†messages me to find out if I’m interested in doing this little “Blog Tour.” Sure, I’m buzzed. I’ll do just about anything with a few drinks in me.

1.  What am I working on? 

  • Currently I’m attempting to complete the A to Z Challenge that I signed up for. There are only 12 days left. I still need topics for the letters “S, V, X, Y Z.” Hopefully I can come up with something for those letters. If you have any suggestions drop me a line. This is my first year doing this meme, not sure if I’ll do it again next year. This meme is really been a challenge, in a very good way of course.
  • I also just received my VivaVoxBox from Which contains complimentary products that I will have to give my reviews on via my different social media including a written blog post.

  • I have an non-fictional erotic story that I need to finish soon. I probably will forget how the story line went. Dammit. ¬†You can read my last non-fictional erotic story called “20 Minutes.”
  • I haven’t written anything recently for the Blog for Mental Health Project. I had been writing posts about my issues and experiences. That I recently discovered in the last year. Hoping that I could connect to others like me and find out more about it.

2. How does my work differ from others of its genre?¬†Funny, I don’t think I fit¬†into any specific genre. I’ve tried. I write about my personal sexual adventures in regards to my “issues.” Which I guess is not a positive for either genre. Sexual or Mental Health. I share my sexual experiences because I never knew that that’s why I was acting the way I was. Also I think it makes for a hot read – sometimes. ¬†Hoping that perhaps someone can relate or I can prevent someone from doing what I did. I don’t know. I also post a lot of photos of myself, along with lots of shoe shots. I mostly just write about what’s going on in my head. I also mix up some audio (podcast) with some of my written posts. I’ve always enjoyed doing audio more than typing. Not everyone is into listening & not everyone is into reading.

3. ¬†Why do I write what I do?¬†I write the things I do, because it’s what I know to write about. Also hoping to connect with other like-minded people. Those that can relate to what I write about or just having regular readers who enjoy reading what I write about. Another reason I write what I do, maybe some one out there reading it who may feel like they are the only one. ¬†Most people wanna feel like their not totally alone in their situation and experiences.¬†Bottom line, it’s self motivated. I need to share some things to get it off my chest & out of my head. If I write it all down and reread it back to myself, it just might make sense.

4. ¬†How does your writing process work? It doesn’t. I haven’t found my pattern just yet. At times there are so many ideas in my head. I write them down in scribbled notes. Looking at them later I think I can’t write about that! Or OMG how depressing. That sounds crazy. I did use audio for a while just to get the thoughts out of my head. I’m still working on this part of it. I’m not a natural writer. You can tell those hardcore writers, I just wanna get the damn thought out, share it and be done. If I sound like I’m writing like a 17-year-old, well, you can understand it. Simple & straight to the point. I have looked into other ideas of how to write better, ¬†to find a way that works for a mind that suffers with ADHD.

There you have it. Answers to questions that you always wanted to know about your favorite little kitty. Thanks again to Jack of jackandjillcpl¬†for asking me to participate in this writing blog tour. I’m passing this tour onto the following follow bloggers. I do have a variety of bloggers I follow. Please note that they all may write about different topics, some sites may contain adult subject matter.

Normal Deviations

LordRaven69 Р

Marci – Marci, Mental Health & More

Email?! Delete.

This morning I am busy getting ready for an easy day at work, not really feeling all that bright & sunny about the day. Yet not down enough to feel like crap about leaving the house. I received an notice of having mail. 

I saw the name of the sender, quickly thought “Really?! what the fuck is his problem now? Same ol shit probably!”

Curiosity got the better of me. It read as follows…

“i owe you an email. (better yet a phone call) i’ve been SUPER busy and will get to this. Out the door in a flash now but… i’ll have to have some nice quiet time, think time, yes?”

Seriously, what does this mean? Even if you explained it to me right now. I would look at you & roll my eyes…”fuck him & the bike he rides, ’cause I don’t wanna deal with this any more.” I guess some of my “issues” have kicked in & well…I’m just in that pattern right now.