Left-handed

If you have read my “About Cat” page, you will have read that I am left-handed. I didn’t know I was different into I began to learn how to write. I attended private school in the early 70’s. Taught by the Franciscan Order – Nuns! Penguins! Old lady’s in habits with those witch type black shoes and giant rosary beads hanging from their belt.

I was sitting down at the table practicing my letters, when my father noticed something.

“Why is your left hand behind your back?”

I told him that’s how the Sister had told me to practice. He looked at my homework. Some of the letters I had written backwards. He started yelling. He went into the living room, yelling to his mother (my grandma) about how he was taking to me school in the morning because he was going to talk to the principal. He came back into the kitchen. “Stop writing & put your arm down. Now pick up the pencil.” I picked it up with my left hand. He smiled. “Feel better?” I smiled.

That was my first memory of being “different” or left-handed. My dad did go to my school and had a talk with the Sisters there. I never had to put my left arm behind my back again.

I remember writing was and still can at times difficult for me. Especially when writing in spiral or composition notebooks. And don’t even get me started on those erasable pens. Those were never meant for lefties to use. I ended up wearing most of the ink on the side of my hand.

I do not write like most lefties. I hold my pen the “correct” way as right handers do. My handwriting can slight in all three directions. I can’t hold my pen and turn my wrist inwards. That hurts. I hated those left handed scissors. UGH. I would turn them upside down and try to cut with them that way. I remember there were even notebooks with the spiral on the opposite side, just for lefties.

I only use my left hand to write, drive and eat with. However there are times I can use my right hand to eat with. And I will say something to my family like “Something doesn’t feel right.” And my kids would be the first to notice that I was using the “wrong” hand. I can if needed use my right hand to eat with, write with and drive with. When I was younger and was forced to participate in sports I could use either hand. I actually performed better with my left hand, it was just never strong enough. I never trained with my left hand. I used to bowl (stop laughing) and I was taught to use my left hand. My score increased by 10-20 points. When going out to dinner I need to pay attention to where I sit. Sometimes I forget and I don’t enjoy my dining experience.

My maternal grandmother was left-handed. I have a few close cousins who are lefties. And out of my three children I have only one lefty. That’s the Manchild. Who is very creative and very intellectual. I am not as creative as I was when I was younger. Maybe I never was, just thought I was. I did do a lot of art projects, however at times it was difficult.

I never have given it much thought to being left handed in everyday life. I probably struggle a bit more, but I don’t attribute it to being left-handed which that might be the cause of my difficulty.

I know it was difficult to learn to dance. Doing the steps, for some reason I always got turned around. I tend to carry things in my left hand, such as my phone, car keys. Then I find it difficult because when I get into the car I have to put everything down before I can closed the car door behind me. I use my right shoulder to carry my purse, I used to wear my wristwatch on my left wrist. Then my father explained that it should go on my right wrist because I would continuously bump it on things. I would have a pen in my left hand, watch on my left wrist. That was weird.

Playing guitar when my dad attempted to teach me, I played right handed. It felt so uncomfortable playing left. I don’t think I am a true lefty. Because they do everything left-handed. I don’t. Sadly, my right hand, arm has taken a beating because I use it so much. Not to long ago I tried using my left hand for other things, just felt uncomfortable. I don’t take a lot of stock in those articles that a lot of statistics about lefty’s. That they are more satifified sexually, they are more likely to die younger, recover from a stroke faster & better and so on. I just don’t give it much thought. I’m just a left-handed woman in a right-handed world.

Are you left-handed? Not sure? Ask yourself these questions. Find out more at Lefthandersday.com

  1. Imagine the center of your back is itching. Which hand do you scratch it with?

  2. Interlock your fingers. Which thumb is uppermost?

  3. Imagine you are applauding. Start clapping your hands. Which hand is uppermost?

International Left-Handed Day

Parenting is Never Easy

All the kids are out of the house. Friends would say “they’ll be back, ya know!” No. Never. Once again, the manchild has been dealt a kick to the teeth by life. He went to school, got a trade skill, even moved 1000 miles away from home, to a place where he has no family and only one former classmate. Time for the boy to become a man. Right?! Right.

After my tears dried from him leaving, I got to spend the holidays with him. Leaving knowing that he has become a man. Paying his bills, working for the company that trained him. He was set, for now. He realized shortly afterwards. That what he had decided to do, wasn’t what he wanted to do at all. However, he knew that he had to fulfill the contract that he signed to stay with him until September of this year. That what he planned, he had also been looking into attending night school to work towards something else.

He overheard some staff members stating that his boss was out during lunch with some of the other managers. That someone’s relative was in need of a job. The manchild was the last on the list. That day he was replaced by a relative to manager. I’m not saying that my son is perfect, I do know he is a very independent hard worker. I have never experienced hearing of a company that just paid tuition and then let to employee go. Sure, it’s a tax write off, right? That’s business. How does a parent explain that to a young adult male? What does a parent say about employer practices? That life is not fair, no matter how honest & hard working you are, you’re still gonna get screwed over. How does a parent prevent a young adult male from becoming bitter?

I can’t understand the thinking behind it all. If the manager at the dealership in Mckinney Texas  was not satisfied with the manchild’s ob performance, why not sit down with him. Keep in mind the manchild is only 20 years old. He’s green, he’s fresh clay in the work force. Yet, he was kicked to the curb even after all the training the education, the determination and hard work of relocating away from his family. This manager without a second thought, without giving ample warnings or instructions, or guidance of any kind dismisses him, only to be replaced by a family member. How does a parent explain that to their child? 

Maybe I am making too much of this. Maybe I’m over reacting as a mother. We have all been there at some point, with out a job. Looking at eviction, not having enough experience or having too much experience. The manchild now faces all of that. He asks me “how do I get experience if no one will hire me?” He’s gone for several interviews now, a few dealerships. They told him, sorry you don’t have enough experience. Next. I have no idea how Texas works as far as unemployment services, but Manchild is having no luck getting any money. What happened to the days where a person could go stand in line and meet with a real person? Everything has to be done online?

As a mother, I feel that my hands are tied. I can’t do it for him. He’s not stupid, he’s just at a low point. Now enter my Beloved. Who tells him to go back and call the school that assisted him in finding the job at International, ask them to help him find another job. Manchild doesn’t want to because he is worried that he may get stuck with the tuition bill for being terminated. My Beloved insists on the “who cares” attitude.   Only thing, I’m not sure how many International dealerships there are in the area. I do love my beloved but sometimes that “old way thinking” is so out dated. He keeps saying “Go there and be a pain in their ass, either they will tell you why they won’t hire you or they will give you a job.” I disagree. After being kicked in the teeth for so many times, one no longer wishes to smile. My beloved continues to believe that our son is not trying hard enough to find a job. Really?! He’s gone on lots of interviews, one a day there for a while. It boils down to not qualified or over qualified. It’s so frustrating. Manchild has noticed that most people could care less about someone like him, not being able to find a job. It also doesn’t help that he is only 20 years old. Most places want a 21 year old to drive or work at those heavy jobs. Beloved also stressed that he wants the Manchild to hit an emotional bottom, to learn to set his pride aside. Take that job, washing dishes. Sure, that would be great if he was 16, however he can speak English.

I am looking at this now as, where will the money come from to pay his rent, food, not to mention the dog. Bills, loans. Thank heaven he is not married or have children. That’s got to be hell on a man. So much pressure to provide. I can understand why it would be easier for some to turn to a life of crime after there have been no positive rewards for any honest work done.

I understand being a man is not easy, there is a lot of pressure. I understand how an average 40 something male can flip out and kill his entire family or others in his work place. I can understand why men, drink, whore around, taking part in other illegal activity. Anything to release the pressure, tension from everyday life. Then add in the mix ungrateful children and a non-working over budget spending wife.

How does a mother tell her young adult son “life sucks and it ain’t fair, but it get out there anyway.”

 

 

Weekend Went

So this weekend my grandson turned 3. WOW. Where did the time go? It’s the only time I ever see my ex husband is at our grandson’s birthday party. I ever understood those women who dealt with their exes for the sake of the children. I didn’t. When the kids reached their teens, I let them work things out with him on their own. However, we would speak to each other if issues couldn’t be worked out. I would surely be there for my kids when their father would (never fails) to disappoint them in some way. Whether it was forgetting something, never attending any of their school functions. My Ex never went to ONE of my daughter’s band performances, that I remember…maybe one..not sure of that.

I took a long look at him yesterday and thought to myself. “WTF?!” I felt nothing…I mean nothing. I just knew that I wanted to be looking good & feeling good about myself. Which I think I did. I don’t understand why a 50 year old man who want to divorce his second wife (not me, I’m always first) of 25 + years and hook up with someone who is suffering from a potential terminal illness, two kids (17, 6). Why on earth would he wanna start a third family?! UGH. I couldn’t do it. I’m too selfish I guess.

My grandson is a total bursting ball of energy. He is of course, perfect. Whose grand kid isn’t perfect to them?! I’m super proud of my daughter because she is holding down a marriage, job, a son and reads a book everyday, does the review of the book for the author and bakes amazing cakes. She would love to do it professionally, I wish there was something I could do for her, to be able to accomplish her dreams.

Her son will always have an amazing birthday cake for his parties along with cupcakes. YUMMY!

Father’s Day is here. My current hubby & I, along with the Manchild went for a brief motorcycle ride. That made Old Man very happy to know that two of his students are riding along with him. We just went to a locla joint to grab a burger & enjoy the Sunday ride. But the night before we had also gone out for a ride to pick up his gifts. No ties, no toys, but something we know that will be used. Because he loves this stuff! Shame on me for getting them for him, because he is slightly overweight and shouldn’t be eating food like this at all!

 

Take Part…..

These are simple steps you can take to help children feel loved and supported…

  • Love and respect children for who they are – not who we want them to be.
  • Don not make our problems out children’s problems. We are the adults.
  • When necessary, let children know we disapprove of what they do, not who they are.
  • Make time for children. They will never be this age again.
  • Try to create loving and safe homes and neighborhoods.
  • Give children space to dream, to fulfill their potential, to fail and most importantly to grow.
  • Encourage children to carefully, but without fear, explore the world and its infinite possibilities.
  • Be loving, fair and open minded, moral, compassionate and positive; in short, be the kind of adults we want children to grow up to be.
  • Hide a love note where a child can find it.

Source: Parents Anonymous