Are you at ease being naked? No, I’m not a big fan of being naked.. Not in front of strangers or first time lovers. I have gotten used to being naked in front of doctors. I had a few major accidents and getting undressed/dressed and having surgeries I just don’t bother. I figured it’s not the first naked body they’ve seen.
When it comes to lovers, even photographs of certain parts of my body I am so nervous to show or self-conscious to let anyone see me naked. I remember a time when I had sex with a lover, but was so nervous for him to see my naked body. He said “You can keep your shirt on, wear a skirt so you can pull it up. You can be on top.” I agreed. After a few more times like that and a gentle hand I ended up stripping off my clothes before he could once I got used to him.
There was an alcoholic ex I had who would degrade me. He would say things like “You’re so fat, whose gonna wanna have sex with you?” or something about my scars “they’re ugly to look at and I don’t want to see them.” We eventually stopped having sex after a year. We broke up after I choked him one night when he had drank too much, running his mouth. I sat on his chest and choked him. Years, years later I ran into him at a local bar. We talked about that night he told me, “I said those things so you wouldn’t leave me. I thought you would stay with me because you were afraid to leave. Never thought you would try to kill me.”
He did a lot of mental damage on my self-esteem, being naked in front of someone. Then I met a man who would marry me. He tells me every day how beautiful I am – naked and dressed. He watches me get dressed. It used to bother me, but when he gets a hard-on while watching me dress/undress gives me a boost in my esteem. A couple of times we turned that into a little show. Well, I did. He enjoyed the happy ending at the end of his show.
Do you feel more comfortable clothed or unclothed? I feel more comfortable half-dressed. When I’m at home I walk around in a t-shirt, panties and thigh high socks (if it’s cold). In the summer I wear a tank top, panties or running shorts. I always wear a bra. I can’t stand boob sweat. I do not like that my nipples get a bit sore from rubbing on the shirt when I don’t wear a bra.