A two in one post. Q is for Quitting & Wicked Wednesday is about Questions.
In the past I have read a few articles about “starting a blog,” but what about when to quit blogging.
A blogger/writer should quit when OR why some bloggers quit.
- They have lost their passion to write or blog.
- Life events are more important than blogging.
- When starting out bloggers do not realize how time-consuming blogging can be.
- Not finding a blogging niche, not fitting into a specific blogging niche.
- Getting discouraged because of no comments or getting too focused on blog stats.
- Not finding a supportive, accepting or friendly blogging community.
- Not being able to come up with blog topics.
Those were just a few that I had read throughout the blogosphere. Now here come the questions…
- What would be the number one reason that you quit blogging?
- Do you have an end goal in mind, that if you reach that goal you plan on quitting blogging?
- Will you ever quit blogging about your main topics or your blogging niche? (Sex, Fashion, Food, Parenting, etc.)
- If you quit blogging about your main niche/topics what do you think you will blog about or would you quit blogging entirely?
- What motivates you NOT to quit blogging, even if your stats suck, no one comments and you really think about quitting? What keeps you going?
- Is there anything about blogging that scares or intimidates you?
- Is there any advice you would give to a new blogger about starting a blog in your current niche/topic?
As far as me quitting this blog. The answer is not anytime soon, however shit happens and I could have some life alternating event that would prevent me from continuing this blog. For now, you’re stuck with me.
I’m getting older. This Thursday I will be celebrating a milestone in birthdays. Some women have difficulties with this, others embrace it. Right now I’m indifferent about the number & about getting older.
Do you remember when you were young? Was life easier or harder for you? I couldn’t wait to get old enough to leave home or old enough to drink, just to be an adult. Sometimes I wish I could go back to being that irresponsible little kid.
There are perks to getting older.
- Sometimes you can eat whatever you want when you want to. I like eating ice cream, sweets or leftover pizza for breakfast.
- Senior discounts
- I have an excuse when I forget things.
- You can stay up as late as you want to.
- Knowing more than when you were younger. Real wisdom to pass on to children & grandchildren.
- You have wonderful memories.
- You have more time to enjoy the little things.
- You don’t care about what others people about you anymore.
- You “paid your dues.”
It sucks getting older.
- Your body aches a lot more than when you were younger.
- You can’t eat anything and everything you want to.
- Your mind says yes but your body says no.
- Saggy skin…everywhere!
- You have accumulated a life time of knowledge and your children still don’t listen to you.
- You’ve accumulated a houseful of memories and your adult children tell you “Get rid of it!!!”
- When you come home after work and immediately look for your pj’s to put on and pray no one stops by or you have to leave the house later that evening.
“You’re Mexican aren’t you?”
“Where are ya’ll from? You don’t sound Mexican.”
“You don’t talk like Mexican.”
“Do you speak Mexican?”
Those are just a few questions that I have been asked in my lifetime. Just last week while in my local watering hole I was asked about my cousin. First the guy asked “you two are cousins, right?” As if he needed to verify this fact. He continues to ask me “How are you two related? She’s got a different last name.” I thought to myself “So what? Is that proof that we are not related or something?”
He went on “How did she get the last name of Taylor?” I think I rolled my eyes at him. I really wanted to punch him just for being stupid. The clincher was when he looked me in the face and said “If you’re Mexican how come she doesn’t look Mexican?”
For fuck sake. “Well, her mom married a WHITE dude with the last name of Taylor!!!” My cousin pops into the conversation and says “she’s 100% Mexican and I’m only half.”
Good grief. This is just one example of being Mexican.
[in the photo above starting at the left moving to the right; Dulce de Calabaza (Mexican Pumpkin Candy. It’s more like glazed soft pumpkin.
Next photo I grabbed from Huffington Post with sayings that are in Spanish that other nationalities say. I have yet to hear a Mexican say any of them.
At work there was a little old white guy who had to share that he drove by a auto shop that had this word painted on their sign and he wanted to know what it meant. (Pinche mufflers!)
Next photo is steak tacos with cilantro & onions.
All Mexican drink Tequila right?! Of course we do…not Jose either *gag* it’s PATRON Silver Baby! Try some Rum Chata with a splash of Pardon XO and that is some good shit. OR Rum Chata with a splash of Frangelico.
Middle photo is all about those Mexican candles that have a saint or Jesus on it and on the back side of the candle is a prayer to say in addition to your request. Mexicans tend to be suspicious and religious, world of counter dictations.
Tamales. Homemade. Time-consuming and always at Christmas. It’s basically marinated pork inside corn dough wrapped in a corn husk. It’s a tradition. And my childhood memories are filled with tamales at Christmas.
Olbeas con cajeta is my favorite Mexican candy. It’s goat milk caramel between two paper-thin wafers. The wafers always remind me of the catholic communion host wafers.
Another photos of Tamales ready to be eaten (by me!)
“Corn in a cup” used to be just an ear of corn on a stick, like at the carnivals. You can only get this yummy treat from a street vender. When in Mexican any time I saw the Elote Man I begged my grandfather for money to get elote! Cause I love corn. Only the Mexican version is boiled ears of corn where the kernels are plump with juice. There are different varieties to this item, but I’m used to mayonnaise, powered chili, butter, and cheese and lime. I eat mine without the mayo (yuk) and no cheese. and that’s what’s in the cup.
You can see the vendor preparing the corn.
“El Chapo” because Mexicans are all drug dealers (and lawn care workers). LOL.
More Tequila. See, we all drink Tequila (NOT!)]
When some people find out I speak Spanish they ask for translations. NO. You had an opportunity like I did to take Spanish in high school. No. I’m not translating. Pay me. I remember my father & mother would have to translate for the non-English speaking people who needed help. My dad would get calls in the middle of the night for translating. Finally they both said no, they were finished doing it. Then it came down to Union involvement and a few bucks of extra pay. I just lie and say NOPE I don’t speak Spanish. Then my boss hears me, I used Rosetta Stone! LOL. I’m a shit, I know. But I’ve experienced previous employers not wanting to pay me for my time but they have to pay a translator to come in to do it. I figure it’s not worth my aggravation.
I was raised by my father, typical Mexican male. However, he taught me that life is cruel. Twice as difficult for me because I’m a woman and a minority. I was taught to speak English first and Spanish second. I was raised that even Mexicans are discriminative to their own. There is a difference between the migrant workers to the illegals and we didn’t socialize too much. I had to attend private school as did my parents. I did teach my children, who are half Mexican to speak Spanish and about the culture as much as I could. I have one major regret…is when I traveled to Mexico with my grandparents every summer from 1973-1982 then again in 1990-1993. I regret not listening to my grandfather sharing the history of his life and the history of our culture. I just remember bits & pieces. Nowadays I often tease my mother and children with my Spanglish and Mexican humor. Now that I am older I miss the old traditions that I hated when I was younger.
Do you listen to yourself?
Sitting alone in a room quietly listening to myself? No. My mind will get bombarded with 1000 different thoughts. Sometimes one thought that will shoot off into another thought into another thought and so on. Then I think I fell over in sleep mode. LOL
When it comes to people, well … I try to listen to myself, but due to my emotion deregulation issues I find it difficult most times.
Try listening to yourself first. Take a few minutes and sit quietly somewhere without distractions. And just listen to yourself. A very simple form of medication. Breathe and listen to your inner voice.
Are you a passive or active listener?
I’m not a good listener. I’m a passive listener. I’m one of those people who doesn’t pay much attention to those who are not in my inner circle. I mean, sure I listen and I hear Charlie Brown’s teacher talking at me. I can admit my faults and this is a major one. I have tried (most of the time) to listen AND retain the information that I just heard.
If I just met you in a bar, I will nod and smile and agree with things you say like a good passive listener, but I won’t remember some of the things you told me the next day. Not because of the booze I drank, but because I figure I probably won’t ever see you again or that we will not form a lifelong relationship of any kind.
If you are in my inner circle and share with me things that are important in your life. Yes I will be listening. I’m still a passive listener not because I want to but because I interrupt and toss in my advice or personal experiences in to the conversation. I hate that about myself. I wish I could shut up and just listen and not offer any advice.
I used to tell my children and my Liege to touch me on my arm so that the behavior will register into my head that I’m to stop what I’m doing and listen to who ever is talking to me. Because when they would come to talk to me, I would be doing other stuff or in zombie mode and wouldn’t remember what they told me. Then they would say “Don’t you remember? I told you …. blahblahblah.” UGH … I hated that.
The following are some suggestions to help you with becoming a better listener.
- Give your partner/talker your undivided attention. Put down or shut off your cell phone. Shut off any other distractions such as TV, radio. No multitasking of any kind.
- Look at the person who is speaking to you. Face them, your body should be towards them so that they know that you are focused on what they are saying to you.
- Do NOT interrupt, correct or pass judgment, especially when the talker is expressing negative feelings.
- Try to put yourself in their place, in your own words repeat what they said to you so that they know that you heard them. Summarize what they said to you so that they know you understand what they said to you.
- If your partner needs to talk to you about something important and the kids need attention, chores need to be finished, etc. Set a specific time when you both can talk without interruptions. Tell the kids that mom & dad are having quiet time in a comfortable room in the house and can’t be bothered for a specific amount of time.There are no set rules on any of these, it’s what works for you to become a better listener.
When my Liege and I first got together I would come home and emotionally vomit all over him. I had to get out my frustration, anger that I had experienced during the day. In the beginning he took it all personally. One day I came home ready to explode. He stops me and asks “Does this involve me? Did I do something to upset you?” I looked at him a bit confused as if to say “Why would you ask me that?” “NO. it has nothing to do with you!!! I just need to talk and vent.” A huge sigh of relief from him and he was ready to listen. I spewed unimportant stuff on him, it helped me with my emotional deregulation issues. It has become a routine for his listening and me talking. We set time before going to bed to discuss relationship stuff. That way we both know that whatever is being discussed is important because it’s about “us.”
One thing that we talk about is that we for any reason we switch roles from listener and talker that we are going to have lots of problems. I have tried to listen without interrupting or being distracted BUT I often fail miserably, haven’t given up trying (yet).