I really need to add a new category called “Adventures with Charlie.” Maybe change one of the categories that are mostly about my adventures with him.
I asked if he was at his bar. He wasn’t but he mentioned that he would be out the next day. I wrote about that in this post.
Him: Wanna meet up at 7pm at “SlapShots?”
ME: yeah just remind me.
Him: Will do
I got a text from one of his ex girlfriends. She shared that she heard some news about Charlie with me. I couldn’t control myself. I had to text him.
Me: Wow. New girlfriend?! No really? Congratulations and you really are serious about her?! And you’re staying with your mom? Great news. (Knowing Charlie is an alcoholic, who’s just hanging on to a branch before he plummets to his bottom).
Him: LOL Going to get apt this week. New GF?! she’s been on & off for 8 months. and you knew that. you even know her name!!! so WTF!?
Me: I heard she was new. That you are really serious about her. I’m happy you’re finally get back on track. Just wish you could have trusted me enough to share the news but its all good. I’m just glad you’re happy.
Him: Not serious at all…and I told u I was looking at apt. was gonna stay at that hotel for a week but ma wasn’t having it.
Me: No worries. I didn’t mean for you to get defensive. no need to explain. I think its best for us that way. I just hate hearing it from other ppl who seem to wanna start shit or make me upset.
Him: not getting defensive babe. ppl always talk shit
Me: we’re good
Him: Drinks tonight?
Me: come through our regular place around 4. I’ll call you when I get there.
I arrived at our regular hangout shortly after 4pm. There were people there that I wasn’t too comfortable with. A few of them said things like “he was just here or he’s around here somewhere.” I smiled sat down and tried to order a drink.
I felt an anxiety attack coming on. He come up behind me and rubbed my shoulders. I said “I can’t breathe, I’m gonna have an anxiety attack.” He asked “why? babe, I’m here. Let’s step outside.”
We stood outside for a minute, until I could get myself together.
We walked back inside “Let’s sit over here in the corner away from everyone.”
I felt so special. It’s a circular table, so we are really close. We begin talking about what his ex said to me. I know he has his issues. I wonder though what mental illness he has if any. Is he a sociopath? At times like this I think he is. Does he have similar emotional & attachment issues like I do? I think so. He tells me that “people will always talk, why care about what they say?” He is fascinated with why people in his circle feel the urge to gossip about him. I informed him that there is something about him. Men want to be him or be his friend. Women want to be his girlfriend, lover. He smiles at me. He’s very charming, smooth bullshitter. He knew right away who told me the gossip, he wants to find out who the mole is, because he doesn’t acknowledge her when she does come into that bar.
He went on to explain that the girlfriend isn’t new. She’s the same one that he’s had on & off for the last 8 months. He tells me a few stories about her. That he will never get too involved with another woman again. Blahblahblah. How he doesn’t allow her to come to the bar, because no one likes her. She’s like the one before, no one liked her either. Geez.
I told him “thank you, for not letting her come here. It’s nice to know that it’s still our place. I notice you treat some women differently than others.”
“Of course I do, doesn’t everyone?”
“I’m not sure. But I notice that some women trigger your violent side. You’ve never hit me or wanted to hit me that I know of. You just stay away from me until you’re over getting pissed at me.”
“I know, we get too crazy with each other. You don’t provoke me like some of the others. But you do like to push my limitations and that’s when I get angry with you.”
We were interrupted by some of his friends. Who make little comments about us relationship status. We both laugh behind their backs because we know that we wish we could be like we used to, but we’re not. Charlie is … something, he has a certain charm mixed with hardcore bad boy and that drives some chicks batshit crazy for him. I know when we’re together it is just “us.” It’s the game we play with each other.
After his friends paid their respect and left us, he began to speak softly to me. “I need to tell you something important, I need to find the snitch. I’m sure its not you. I’ve told only one other person that I am back with CC again.” My heart sunk. Not out of jealousy but from fear. She had him put in jail – twice. She had some guys beat him up to the point he needed a plastic surgeon to repair his face. I fear that this may be the last time I see him alive. She’s crazy. She’s someone you see on 20/20 or Dateline for murdering her lover. He has a death wish. Most of his inner circle know this, we all try to keep him safe. But even the junkies have pulled away from him now. I simply replied “ok. Thanks for letting me in on the secret.” He laughed.
He went to play some music, walks over to me and takes my hand. His song plays on the jukebox and we dance. The bar patrons watch us, we laugh & smile. We continue to have some drinks. Have a great time together. We end the night by a short kiss on the lips.