Three in a Stall [MM120]

[The following story is a work of fiction, it was inspired by an actual event. The following story has material that some may find upsetting, disturbing. The following story has subject material about FMM sex, sex while on drugs & alcohol, bisexuality]

 

I had been to this club before, looking for my friends I stood there with my drink. Adam & his friend Ken walked up to me. We hugged.

“Hey! What’s going on? Who ya here with?”

“Oh myself now, looking for my friends. We were suppose to meet here tonight, but I haven’t seen them yet.”

“Well you can sit with us until you find your friends.”

“Oh Ok. Thanks.”

We made our way back through the crowded bar to their table. They ordered more drinks and shots for us. The alcohol seemed to hit me faster than it typically does. I felt pretty good. The music was good, there was a good vibe in the air and I felt a little sexy. Adam looked over at me “wanna do a bump?”

I had done cocaine before, it was the one big high. Expensive, but the high was incredible and sex was so intense. I smiled. “Sure. Why not?”

“That a girl! I’m going into the men’s bathroom, if I don’t come straight out, that’s the signal to come in.”

Ken had returned as we were standing up to leave. Ken looked at Adam “Where you two off too?”

Adam said “we’re gonna do a bump, come on.” I’ve known this guys only from the club scene. I wasn’t concerned about anything, besides that I was feeling the effects of the booze. Adam walked into the mens bathroom and Ken soon followed. I waited about a second to two and dipped inside to the last stall in the men’s bathroom. Adam was opening a baggie of the white powder on to the top of the toilet paper dispenser. Ken kept look out at the door. Adam formed one line. “Ladies, first.”

I took his rolled up bill and snorted only half when my nostril started to sting. I stopped he said “you ok?”

“Yeah, I guess I don’t do it often enough.”

Ken closes the bathroom door, walked into the stall, closed that door. “Hey, lemme do a bump off your tits.”

I stood there for a second. “NO!” With a chuckle in my voice. He didn’t force the issue. Ken fixed himself & Adam two huge lines. Snorted them. Ken opened the stall door, walked out. I knew that Adam was interested in me, but I wasn’t too interested in him. He was really just that friend who is always in the friend zone. Adam caught my eye, he leaned toward me to kiss me. I accepted his lips on mine. I immediately felt the heat in between my legs. I wanted more, but he already had ideas of his own. He tried to lock the stall door but Ken had walked back to us “Hey are you guys…coming?”

“Not yet.” Adam laughs. “Get in here.”

A few seconds of awkwardness soon changed into a heated threesome in the stall. Adam unzipped his pants and Ken followed his cue. I squatted down, taking turns sucking their cocks. Adam’s cock is larger and skinnier, his hand is on my head, his fingers twisted in my hair. Ken seemed fascinated with what I was doing to Adam’s cock. He squats down next to me, looking at me and I slowly move away from Adam and Ken starts to suck his cock, while he strokes his. As Ken is sucking on Adam, standing up I kiss Adam as he lifts up my mini skirt. He pulls at my pantyhose with both hands he tore a hole in them. Ken pulls at the hose, his tongue splits my lips open, sliding into my now aching pussy. I fall back against the stall wall as I feel Adam tugging at my blouse trying to free my breast. His hands grab one of my mounds and he feeds hungrily on my nipple. His tongue flicks back & forth across it as his other hand squeezes my other tit. Ken’s tongue working hard on my clit. I feel his finger thrust inside me as his lips tighten around my clit. I can’t move, my ruined pantyhose around my ankles and the waves of pleasure & lust overcome me again & again. I completely lost in the moment.penis, lipstick, sassycat3000, latina, sexblogger

Ken fingers me more, licking up my juices and then turns to Adams cock again. As Adam continues to fondle my tits, he reaches down and grabs at Ken’s wrist. Ken slides his fingers out and Adam bends down to suck my juices off Ken’s fingers. I remember watching that and thinking “Oh my fucking god! I’m super turned on now. This feels fucking amazing.”

Ken stands up and all three of us are looking at each other. I reach out to stroke both of their cocks, only for a few minutes. When Adam whispers “I wanna fuck you! Can I fuck you?” I smile and nod. His hands on my waist, gently turns me around to face the toilet. My first thought was he was going to shove my face in the water, but I put my hands up on the wall to brace myself. “Wait, wait a second.” Ken slams the toilet seat cover down and quickly sits down. I’m looking at Ken when I feel Adam’s cock slam into my wet pussy. My eyes closed, drifting into a state of ecstasy I feel Ken exposing my tits to his smooth moist lips, both his hands firmly holding them as Adam pounds my pussy. I must have started to get loud because I heard Ken telling me to be quiet. We heard what might have been pounding on the bathroom door, but Adam had ahold of my waist hammering my pussy hard & fast. I heard his breath quicken and he pulls out comes over to the front of me and explodes all over my tits. Ken whispers “sit on my cock!”

So I do. He quickly starts sucking off Adam’s dripping cock. Sitting on Ken’s cock I’m grinding on him, feeling Adams cum starting to melt and run down my cleavage. Ken’s pumping me hard. I feel another wave of orgasms coming over me. A loud moan escape my mouth. I see Adam zipping up his jeans as he’s looking at me have my orgasm. He smiles a huge cheesy grin. Reaches down to pinch one of my nipples, Ken’s hands are on my ass just pumping me, when he pushes me up from him as he shots his load on the both of us. I can hardly stand, Adam grabs me to hold me up, as I try to get dressed again. I used my shredded pantyhose as a rag to try to wipe off Ken’s cum. I lean over to clean off his cock like he cleaned Adam. I licked most of the excess off, but he had most of the cum on the bottom of his shirt. I pulled my mini skirt down stuffed my tits back into my bra. Ken tucked his skirt into his pants. Adam left first, then me, Ken followed. We quickly checked our look in the mirror when the pounding on the bathroom door was forceful. Adam said “Ken & I will cause a distraction and you leave the club out of the emergency exit.” I must have had a worried look when Ken kissed my cheek “we’ll be fine if we see your friends will tell them you left.” I nodded when Adam unlocked the men’s bathroom door. He & Ken pushed into the men trying to get in as I squeezed by and ran to the side emergency exit door.

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My First Giveaway!

That’s right.

I feel like I have moved up into the big league now. It’s a bit scary too. I was approached by an Amazon company called Sexy Slave, if I would be willing to host a giveaway.

Sure. Ya I know. But hey what a better way to get my feet wet?

I really wanted the experience of the how-to’s. So, I’m not gonna ask you to bend over backwards and twist into a pretzel. If you’re interested in the prize, enter to win. It’s that simple.

What’s the Prize?

An 11-piece Under Bed Bondage Ankle Wrist Cuff Restraint Set

Sexy Slave is providing the restraint kit that fits underneath any sized bed and reaches around to firmly cuff your partner’s wrists and ankles. It is perfect for anyone who can’t decide whether their partner looks prettier spread-eagle on the bed or bend over in the armchair, or on the dinner table for bedroom wild fun.

Included in this prize:

  • 4 Wrist/Ankle Padded Cuffs.
  • 4 Adjustable Straps.
  • 1 Ball Gag.
  • 1 Whip.
  • 1 Blindfold.

 

ENTER TO WIN!

11-Piece Restraints Kit Giveaway by Sexy Slave

Winners chosen randomly or via sponsored host.
Contests & Giveaways are hosted with the intent of adding a bit of fun to this site and in no way are meant to be a form of gambling or sweepstakes.
Contests & Giveaways are open to those over 18+ yrs of age.
Contests & Giveaways have start and end on dates listed on each specific contest.
Each winner will have 48 hours to claim prize, after being notified via the email they used to enter the contest. After 48 hours, if there is no response, another winner will be chosen.
Winner(s) assumes all responsibility if further clarification is needed, prior to either entering a giveaway on this site or claiming a prize at the conclusion of a contest.
Various hosting methods for contests & giveaways, for example Rafflecopter or PromoSimple. You are giving permission for these entities gather email addresses for verification.
If Contest & giveaways prizes are provided by sponsored host. Sponsored host is responsible for sending the prize to the winner. The owner of this blog is not responsible for shipment of prize.

Thanks for the support and Good Luck!
(Suggestions are always welcome)

Erotica for Women and Couples [Review]

During the day, I’m normally home alone. That’s when I like to enjoy my “me-time.” I have some links saved for some of the porn videos that I like. I’m not a woman who gets upset if my man watches porn. I am also not a woman who needs a specific type of porn to get off. I just click on a few videos and see where those led me too.frolicme.com

I know there are women who prefer to read erotica and watch the soft, classy erotica, not the hardcore sometimes brutal sex videos that are made by men for me. When I was asked to review the website called Frolicme.com. What I found inside website was pretty amazing for a small startup business that was launched in 2014 by Anna Richards.

Inside FrolicMe.com

  • You will find a bit of everything in this website. There are 6 main pages; Updates which gives the recent erotic videos. Erotic films is  the library of videos with a brief summary underneath, the time length, model’s name and the content of the video. I haven’t found any videos that over 30 minutes long. Stories page which displays the most recent written erotica. You have the option of reading the written story or to watch the video. At the bottom of the story there is the author’s name and a link to them. You can click to the main author’s page which listed all of them. There are several different authors with their bios, stories listed along with their websites. There is also a partnership with lovehoney.com exclusive discounts for Frolicme members. The magazine page is full of interesting articles, sexy erotic photos and what I really thought was cool is the confession page. You can submit your very own confession or fantasy for publication on the magazine page. At the bottom of each page you’ll find lots of links to same main pages that are on top. In addition to some good general information about membership and about the creator/owner of the website Anna.
  • The videos are amazing to watch. There’s relaxing, chill out music playing in the beginning, fades out and then fades in to the sounds of moans & heavy breathing. They are professional and the models are beautiful. There are videos of male/female solo, threesomes, lesbians, anal with some bdsm mixed in, just a bit of everything in there. Anna gives her brief written summary under the videos, however you have the option of reading the full story in addition watching the video which was created from the story.  The pages have full stories in addition to the erotic video along with the photo gallery. There are new videos uploaded weekly. The videos have different options for downloading each film from 360p HD through to the highest quality 1080p HD. The photos are also available for members to download.

The Design

The website is very pretty in pink. It gives you a soft, feminine feeling when you view it. There are three main colors. Pink for most the links, black text with a white background. It’s simple. The site itself is very easy, simple to find your way around. Some things overlap, but that’s not overly noticeable or bothersome. Members have the option of leaving comments on videos and stories, however there is no members directory. You can not click on a member’s profile name. I don’t think members are not there to necessarily interact with each other. The Frolicme.com states it can be viewed on almost all devices and members can download videos and photos from those devices.

Membership

Frolicme.com is based in England. There may be a variation due to the international exchange rates. Membership for Frolicme.comWhen you sign up for the newsletter you will receive a free video for your viewing. Which I think is a great little thank you gift for subscribing to the newsletter. It may also peek enough curiosity to sign up for a membership. There is even an option to upgrading your account if you wish to do so.

You can only view certain articles in the magazine section of the website. Members only get full access to all pages, stories and video and galleries. A non-member can see the photos but can not enlarge them like members can.

Overall

Anna Richards has created a classy, sexy erotic website for women and couples. It’s all pretty much straight forward navigating through the website. Some erotica is written by Anna in addition to several published authors. The erotica is all original content and can not (should not) be found anywhere else but on Frolicme.com. The videos and the stories to go hand & hand. Works great for those who want to read or who are visual. With the other authors she has submitting their work, there should always be some hot & steamy scenes and stories.  Anna has put her heart into Frolicme.com and I can see that. The site shows sexual intercourse, love-making in a classy, seductive and romantic way. There are no seedy or violent, demeaning videos here. I like that the site has incorporated the option of buying sex toys from lovehoney.com.

[Note:  Ordering is made easy, by allowing you to select your location like the US or UK and that specific Lovehoney.com page loads there for you].

That way if let’s say my spouse & I are members, watching a video or reading a story together and we get brave and decide to order a sex toy on the impulse, it’s that easy to do. I can see that bringing some spice back into a relationship.

The site is full of beautifully taken erotic photos of nude and semi-nude models. All the media is HD and professional . Photos can be enlarged as well.

There are excerpts from the author’s books, a promo for the author’s work. There are links to buy the books and the authors social media.

The magazine section is a source of articles about sex, topics that provoke thought in the reader. Members can leave comments.

Frolicme.com offers an affiliate program for those interested.

The One Thing I Would Suggest

  • There are some internet photos used in the sidebar (that are  assumed to be in the public domain). That’s great, nothing wrong with that. Why not ask for photo submissions from some of the Sex Bloggers community or amateur photographers?  Offer something similar to the author’s section. A brief bio page or even a paragraph of the photographer, model, sex blogger. There are some really beautifully erotic photographs taken by some amateur photographers that would love some possible exposure.

Frolicme.com is one of the finalists for this year’s 2017 XBIZ awards for Erotic Site of the Year. This says a lot for an independent startup business like this one. Frolicme.com is running against some big names in the adult film industry such as; NubileFilms.com, EroticaX.com, Babes.com. The quality of film, stories and galleries are professional, all original content written by several different published authors in addition to Anna’s own material throughout the site. I wish Frolicme.com a congratulations on their second nomination for this competition and wishing them all the luck to win!
[Disclaimer: I received this product at a discounted or complimentary price for reviewing purposes. This will not influence my opinion or experience of this product. The blog post may or may not contain affiliate links. My apologizes to Anna Richards for the delay in this review. Thank you for your patience.]

5 Things about Winter [WW236]

This week Wicked Wednesday is about Winter…

5 Things I HATE about Winter…..winter, window, sassycat3000. wicked wednesday, tights,

  1.  The change in the sunlight, when it’s dark outside at 6 o’clock in the morning and 5 o’ clock in the evening.
  2.  Having to warm up my car before I leave for work in the morning. I hate sitting on cold leather car seats as much as I hate burning my thighs on scolding hot leather in the summertime.
  3.  The holidays. Yes! Bah Hum Bug! People are the worst this time of the year. Rude, selfish and so stressed out to find that perfect gift. The whole PC shit….being politically correct about Christmas and the holidays. I get it, I really do. Once the older generation dies out, “Merry Christmas” wont be said anymore. Say whatever is in your heart, there needs to be tolerance and understanding. Ugh.
  4.  I hate winter because my “issues” tend to get the better of me. I drink more, party more, stay up late more and my emotions are usually more raw. Did I mention that I gain weight during the winter? I crave starches & sweets. Instant fat ass.
  5.  Dry skin…crackle & pop skin, sometimes painful. I have baby oil in the shower to use after the shower. Then applying body lotion when I get into the bedroom and lastly A&D ointment for the really rough dry spots. Static. I hate static from the dry air. Nose bleeds from the dry air, then getting out the humidifier to fix the dry air problem.

 

5 Things I LOVE about Winter…..winter, window, wicked wednesday, sassycat3000, sweater, tights

 

  1.  I love hearing the snow crunch under my boots as I walk. I love wearing boots, thick socks or tights or leggings. Love wearing sweaters.
  2.  I love watching the snow fall during a blizzard. I love snow blizzards, the big snowflakes that you can really see. I enjoy being outside when it’s snowing heavy.
  3.  Not having to leave my house because of the snow or because it’s too cold outside. I can stare out the window all day if I could.
  4.  Laying on the sofa curled up with him and snuggled up with my woobie … safe & warm. Loving, touching and squeezing. lol.
  5.  Once the holidays are over, knowing that I will start feeling better about myself. Knowing that I’ve made it through another year.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

Darrell’s High School Teacher Experience [MM118]

This week’s Masturbation Monday story is written by “Mr. Darrell.” He has shared a few of his stories withmasturbation-monday-badge-small me. I mentioned that I would be willing to post them on my website. Here is one of his stories. I did go through and edit the punctuation.

The weather was changing and so was I. This was going to be my last year of school. I really toned up over the summer. My boyish body was just about gone. I put 10lbs of muscle on in my arms chest and shoulders. The girls really noticed me and were more friendly than I remember. They started hanging around me a lot more during our lunchtime. Most of them started showing more of a womans body then the girlish type.

I’m an ass man. I really get off on a nice looking ass. The kind of apple bubble type and a nice healthy pussy. The kind of pussy that makes you want to get all up in there with your face and get that tongue flicking really fast on that clit knob. The lips swell up and fold outwards like a flower blooming then her juices start flowing out.

With my newly developed body, I’m feeling pretty good about myself. I need to find me one of those girls but it will be difficult cause I never was the type to just go after it. Everything I know is from magazines and skin flicks, if they only knew what my pornographic mind was thinking.

We were about mid way through the 12th grade. I haven’t had much action but my confidence is a lot better. I’m not ready to let the freak out yet, still shy in that area. One of the teachers I have has an ass that I wanted badly. I purposely picked the back of the class so I could oggle her, undress her with my eyes.

One day I think she caught me cause I was mesmerized. my eyes were fixed on her crotch, I just stared. I didn’t realize she was looking at me, so what does she do, she puts me right up front. Right where she had a good look at me from her desk, shit my mind fuck was over. I can’t even get a boner with my sexual thoughts of her. she had me and she knew it. she always wear these tight-fitting jeans with a nice blouse and just looked so fucking hot.

Schools almost over, the weather is getting warm. One day I went to class and Ms. Crape was wearing a dress. I was like ok she looks kind of nice, can’t see much booty but she was just gorgeous.  So she’s doing her thing and she sits at her desk kind of facing me. I’m taking notes looking all student like, always glancing over to sneak a peek at her. No fucking way, she had her dress hiked up just enough for me to see that she wasn’t wearing panties. FUCK ME! She sees me looking, she can read my thoughts from my face expressions. She gave me this sultry alluring look, it was the come fuck me look.

It was the last class of the day and she knew exactly what she was doing, cause when class was over I couldn’t stand up. I had a rock hard erection. I have a pretty big cock. the class clears out and she walks over to the door, looks down the hall then comes back in. She locks the door. There were no windows in this room. She walks over to me grabs my arm and sits me in her chair. She straddles me face to face. I’m going nuts like what the fuck is this really happening. She knew I was way out of my league, but she is the teacher and teach she did. she does a little lap dance letting her pussy lips glide back and forth over my bulge. When she got up it was wet with her juices. I could blow a wad right in my pants.

Image courtesy of radnatt at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of radnatt at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

She says “stand up and let your cock out. I can feel your pulse through your jeans.” I was so fucking hard, it was different to unbutton my pants.  I get my cock out and its dancing, thump thump thump. it was throbbing so hard, it’s never been like that ever. I couldn’t cum piss or nothing. It felt like I could fuck for an hour and still be hard. she sits on her desk and spreads her legs. She tells me “gently run your hands up and down the length of my legs then suck softly on my toes, working your way down with wet kisses between my thighs.” So I do as she told me and just before I get to her glistening wet fuck hole. she says “now kiss my pussy, make out with it like regular kissing, use your tongue the same then work it where your tongue is fucking my hole. Suck on my clit and flick your tongue quick on it, push down with your tongue and suck real hard at the same time. Pull out, let my clit pop out and do this routine over and over till I cum in your mouth.”

I’m going at it and she’s thrusting into me, pulling back shaking her ass. It was wild. It was all I can do to stay there. I’m fucking munching away at her box like a crazy person. I didn’t want to stop, she grabs the back of my head and pulls me in and shoves her pussy in my mouth.  I hear squeesh and she cums inside me. I was like fuck ya, she gets down and sucks my cock. My cock is fucking so hard. She turns, bends over the desk and says “you can fuck away cause I’m wet and ready just put it in and go deep. I want to feel your balls slapping my pussy.  Just beat it up, fuck me hard and fast. Get a good grip of my waist and do it!”

So I do, I’m fucking her deep and hard. I can feel my balls bouncing off her clit hard too. She started off pushing back but I was in control, it was all me. I fucked her hard and fast as I could. Pulling back with my arms, thrusting at the waist. Shes screaming “FUCK! FUCK YA! OOOHHH FUCK ME! FUCK ME! I’m going to cum! I’m going to cum!”

She says “DON’T STOP!!! Cum inside me! Yes Yes ram it deep. Cum for me!!!

I filled her pussy full of my jizz,  came so hard that I almost collapsed. i pulled out, cum was dripping out of her gaping beat up pussy. I got dressed. She stayed in the classroom.  What a great teacher she was!!!

Feeling Out of Sorts [BFMH2016]

Tonight I was in the mood to have an adult beverage. I like going after work, stopping in with the work crowd. I seemed some out spaceytonight, Astro got a bit annoyed with me with I dropped the darts off the table. I’m not normally out of sorts. Not sure why I was, but I know that the alcohol hit me quick. I only had two bottles and then I left for home.henrys hard soda, alcohol, the bar

Before I left. A guy walked into the joint, I thought for a moment I thought it was Charlie. But then I remembered that Charlie is away at camp. This guy sat in the same spot that was reserved for Charlie. He spoke to Charlies old crew. I asked a friend of a friend “Who is that guy? I’ve hadn’t seen him in here before?” One of the friends says “that’s Charlie.”

I said nothing, just sat there for a second. Then the other friend said “No that’s not Charlie, he’s away at camp. He’ll be there for a while.” Again I’m sitting there spaced out, missing Charlie and wishing I would have told him that I was sorry. Why does it always end up that way? The last time is always the worst time, ending a relationship on a horrible note. Anyway, has my mind is wandering in that last moment Charlie & I were together Stan walks up to me.

Stan is an older gentleman who went down hill when his wife passed away last year. He couldn’t seem to keep it together. He is a really sweet old guy. He taps me on the shoulder and asks “How’s your brother? Is he still at camp? No way for him to get out, huh? Going to stay there for a long time, huh? He’s a good guy but made some bad decisions.” Now the one friend who said that Charlie was away also had a brief fling with him. She had been one of my replacements when I was taking a break from him. She is seriously a broken chick. She has talked to me, helped me take a mutual friend home because she was too drunk to drive. But at no time did I ever tell her who I am.

Everyone in the bar treats me differently than the others. Charlie’s other girls never stayed very long. But I’m the one everyone knows, who gets the respect of being Charlie’s girl. God how I miss his toxic behavior in my life. And I only miss it because his behavior kept me grounded. Grounded you say? Well in the way that Charlie acted out for the both of us and then I didn’t have to. I didn’t have to put my life on the line, by acting out impulsively. Sure I did with Charlie, the sex, the drugs, the booze and the running game and hustle. I was kept close to him, I felt safe in a twisted way. I guess that’s way I miss him. He’s the crazy part of me, always running. But when I get tired, exhausted and want to try to be normal I go home. Where I hide myself from the world.

As I sat there in the bar, I looked around at the people sitting there. Decided the best thing for me right now would be to go home. And so I did.

[Even though the “Blog for Mental Health” meme has been disconnected I continued to share…I pledge my commitment to the Blog for Mental Health 2014 Project. I will blog about mental health topics not only for myself, but for others. By displaying this badge, I show my pride, dedication, and acceptance for mental health. I use this to promote mental health education in the struggle to erase stigma.]

Why are we even friends on Facebook? [bfmh2016]

Recently had a set back with my borderline issues. These symptoms run deep, now active due to my phase of low self-esteem, from gaining weight, losing most of my muses and Charlie’s time away. (acknowledging my vulnerable factors or the triggers that pushed me).Grey-haired man at the pool hall

I have been included with a small group of patrons at my watering hole. Slowly I have been accepted into their little group. I’m always leery when things like this happen, I always think that they are wanting something from me, whatever that may be. I’m not sure what to do or how to act. It’s showtime. Time to turn into the  “trained monkey.” That person they point at and say “OMG…look Cat’s dancing on the tables again” or “Cat, is so much fun, invite her to the party!”

I’ve tried to keep my distance from them for a while because of my fear of rejection, not knowing how to act in their group. When they started inviting me to their birthday parties, dinners and out for drinks I agreed to attend. I wanted to be part of something. Who doesn’t? However, being part of a group like this can be tricky to maneuver through. Eventually they started friend requesting me on Facebook, which is ok. Until one of them, Sam found me here. So far he has not posed any cause for alarm. My only fear is that Sam reads this or any other writings that refer to him or the group.

I have noticed that Sam, even though he is fairly new to the group seems to have jumped the ranks and is in the inner circle. I wonder how this is possible. Is it because he’s a guy? Maybe there is something else going on behind the scenes. Sam is a friendly & nice guy, new to the area …. but there is something about him that I just can’t put my finger on. He’s tall, average to slender build with salt & pepper hair. There is a story behind him & I, which I will try to explain later.

But first let me tell you about the borderline issues that are at work here.Friend Cod Dinner

A week ago the group all went out for dinner, I got a little out of hand. I did some things that haunt me. My behavior was not the greatest, now that Charlie isn’t around I’m acting out more than ever. I used to think that he was a total ass, but now I see that at those times he was really protecting me from myself. Because without him to balance me out I become even more impulsive, dangerously so. Especially when my feelings aren’t satisfied. I do things that are harmful to myself and my life. Keep an eye open for those future stories.

A few days ago, Sam let me know that T1 & T2 wanted to talk to him. T1 apologized for his behavior that night. However, I didn’t get an apology nor a phone call inviting me to come out with the others like Sam did. That didn’t upset me as much until I noticed that T1 wrote on Sam’s FB wall. Wait. What? I can’t see it?! I should be able to see it, right because I can see something on Sam’s page and T1 is friends with me. Does that mean that T1 has me blocked or in a restricted group that I can’t see his posts? I thought I was part of this little group. I guess I was wrong. This is a  major trigger for me. I’ve been rejection yet I’m suppose to be part of this group. OH! Don’t even get me started on all the back talking and gossip that goes on. I’m sure that my actions on last Friday didn’t help me any.

I decided that if they don’t want me to read their shared posts, they don’t need to see mine. I decided to alienate myself from them. I created a group just for them so that they won’t see any of my posts anymore. I didn’t want to unfriend them because that only causes confrontations and more gossip. I have also decided to avoid them as much as possible. I won’t be going to the pool hall for a while because of my avoidance. Also if any of them invite me out to dinner again I’m planning on declining. I could play it like this…decline the invite yet show up at the bar next door and lie, if they say anything to me. All depends on how I feel on the day.

Examples of BPD symptoms in the above are

  • Impulsive Aggression: coupled with a highly reactive and unstable affect modulation. Thus, patients with BPD will respond to disappointment and frustrations with intense emotions like rage, fear of abandonment and dysphoria. Then serve to trigger the generation of an impulsive, often aggressive, response to the provocation.  via psychiatrictimes.com
    • Examples: Waking a sleeping partner to yell & scream at them.
      • A BPD woman throwing her partners cell phone because she thinks he’s sexting/cheating with another woman.
      • Destroying a partner’s belongings while they are not at home.
      • Suddenly hitting someone during an argument.
  • Impulsive and Risky Behavior: such as gambling, reckless driving, unsafe sex, spending sprees, binge eating or drug abuse, or sabotaging success by suddenly quitting a good job or ending a positive relationship.
  • Emotions: Intense and highly changeable moods, with each episode lasting from a few hours to a few days. (Anger is the current mood I’m feeling stemming from the rejection).
  • Relationships: A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
  • Alienation: The act of cutting off or interfering with an individual’s relationships with others.
  • Push-Pull Syndrome: A chronic pattern of sabotaging and re-establishing closeness in a relationship without appropriate cause or reason.

Helpful Hints

Keep in mind that loving a Borderline is not for everyone. It’s trying, frustrating and draining, but it can also be one of the most exciting rides of your life. IF you know what to do and what not to do during a “crisis.”

  • First and foremost, talk with your Borderline loved one or bring in a neutral party to aid you if you are unable to successfully. Because you need to know what your Borderline wants, needs and expects.
  • We have a rule in our home that if I have an “outburst” neither one of us can leave the home. We can however can retreat to different areas of the house until I calm down or when I am ready to talk in a civil manner.
  • If you are in a public place I would suggest making sure your Borderline loved one is safe and I would remove myself from the situation. Especially if you know that you will or can get “sucked” in to a type of circular conversation which could lead to the Borderline to act impulsively and aggressively.
  • Try to explain to the best of your ability what and why you are leaving.
  • Speak in a calm voice. That always works for me when I’m overly exciting. Being overly excited and trying to calm another overly excited person down just non-productive.
  • For the Borderline, ask yourself if what you are about to do can wait until tomorrow. It’s difficult when the emotions run fast & high. Try to think of the outcome to your decision or action.

Do you have any suggestions that you think might help in keeping the symptoms in check? Perhaps you do something that works great for you, I would love to hear it.

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