This Wicked Wednesday is about “the ex.” My ex. My ex-husband, my ex-boyfriends? Where do I start?!
Let’s start with my ex-husband, “H.” I met H when I was 18 and he was 19. Fresh out of high school, we worked at the same fast food joint. There was something about his medium length dark brown feathered hair and bright blue eyes. He was super skinny, friendly and flirty. I think it started when I ran into him in the walk-in freezer. We had sex. Lots of sex. Crazy sex. We moved in together and had more sex. But because I was raised Catholic, by my grandparents I didn’t know about birth control. He had stopped using a rubber within the first few months we were together. Then until one day he’s feeling my tits and says “I think you’re pregnant, your tits have gotten bigger.” Sure enough I was, a teenage mom. Things started to get crazy, the physical violence between the both of us, hitting each other. He started cheating on me shortly after we were married. I figured that out with the first of the STD’s he gave me. There was always an excuse for the cheating, for the drinking and for the beatings. One day I had enough. I packed a suitcase and our son and left. I left everything. The car, the house and everything in it.
Breaking it off with someone has always been difficult for me because of my borderline issues. He hooked up with another co-worker, but kept coming around to me. I remember him drunk one night and banging on my bedroom window. I called his girlfriend and told her to come get him or I’d call the police. She cussed me out and said “he would never wanna be with you ever again, remember he left you because he loved me!” I was furious! And I was also crazy at that time. Wondering what I did? I fucked the hell out of him. And I kept fucking him, until I fucked myself. I got pregnant. And then his second wife decided got pregnant too because she didn’t want me to be the only one with his son & a daughter.. Our kids are only 6 months apart. He left her to try to work things out with me again, but I ended up packing up his shit and leaving it on the porch. She took him back and they stayed married for almost 24 yrs. They divorced when he left her for his third wife. LOL. I still laugh at that. I have met his third wife at our grandson’s birthday party. He introduced me to her, “I want you to meet my wife S, S this is my ex wife Cat.”
She smiles and extends her hand “Hi Cat. I’ve heard so much about you from H.”
My Beloved, who had been standing quietly behind me pipes up and says “and its all true!” as he extends his hand to shake. “Hello. I’m Cat’s husband.” My Beloved then guides me across the room away from them.
He & I have been divorced since February 8, 1988. That’s 29 years. Now the only time I’ve seen him in the past few years is at our only grandson’s birthday party and once at our oldest son’s wedding. Once a year at the most. We are civil to each other, hesitate to approach each other when we first spot each other and both of us are very uncomfortable.
I can’t understand some women who still communicate with their exes and tell me it’s because of the children. I get it, especially when the kids are young. But when their kids are almost adults and they still are “friends.” That’s just weird to me. After I got married to my current husband, my ex tried to squeeze in to my life but I wasn’t having it anymore. My mother always told me that I needed to include him in everything that the kids are involved in. He never showed up for any thing, forgot to pick up the kids from school activities and my current hubby would take off work to go get them. The last in-depth conversation with my ex was at our son’s wedding. He was telling me how I never had any faith in him and that was the cause of our marriage falling apart. He went on about how he still finds me attractive and sexy. It wasn’t too long that my current hubby walked over to us. He slid his arm around my waist, pulling me close. H’s wife arrived shortly after that. It was like they both knew things would soon get heated. My thrill was that his family all adore me, the mother of his children. The first wife.
In case you’re asking yourself … how I feel towards him or about him. I generally feel nothing. Now that the kids are adults they seldom ever mention anything about him to me. Only when he was in the hospital a few times for his poor health. I will add shortly after my motorcycle accident, I made peace with him. Forgave him and forgave myself.
My Other Ex is Charlie. We were close once, then we drifted apart only to reconnect after years. We were close friends, hung out, partied and then we knew it was time. You can read about the end of Charlie here.
There are a few other “important” exes that I haven’t written about. Don’t wanna make the post too long, maybe I’ll finish sharing about them another time.
Please visit Wicked Wednesday by clicking the banner below.