This morning I woke earlier than I normally do. I looked at my phone to see the time and there was a text from him…”Got a place for me there? I am gonna transfer companies and move back home.”
I felt my stomach tied into a knot of anxiety. I asked him “do you think its a good idea to leave there after all these yrs? Why now?”
He replied with “why not?” I asked about his girlfriend and he replied “nothin’ I can’t walk away from.”
I just told him that maybe it wasn’t a good idea, a rash decision. I question his motive for wanting to pack up his life from there and move here, back home. It’s been over 25 years since he’s been here. He has one sister here and a few other relatives. I just kept asking “why?” and he would answer me with “because I can.” I wanted him back in my life, because I was realized that he was still holding a piece of my heart and with him in my life, I had my heart complete. Tho, he’s safely at a distance, if he moves back here…then what?
I don’t want him to regret his decision. I know he has questions that need answers. I know that he is hurting from the loss he has experienced. I hear the restlessness in him, he left home so ago….isn’t there a quote that says something about “you can never go back home.”