The Gaze [WW275]

When we frist started getting to know each other there were plenty of times when we would just look into each other’s eyes.

He would stare deeply into my eyes, without saying a word. Time seemed to stand still. He was reading me, my feelings and looking deep into my soul without saying a word. He always wants to see my eyes.

I remember reading about if you look into someone’s eyes for X amount of minutes that the brain releases chemicals and that can cause a deep seeded connection. Mr. Sam always makes eye contact with me. Sometimes it bothers me, I feel like an 8 yr old little girl again.

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The first time we made love, we took turns of each other being on top and looking into each others eyes not saying anything. Sometimes we would smile, sometimes we wouldn’t. I don’t always like it when he eye contact with me, so I’ll look away and he will bring it to my attention.

I love it when we are out at the bar and from across the room I can feel his eyes on me. Making that eye contact and feeling that tingle, that communication with out words. Charlie used to do the same thing to me, just not so intense as Mr. Sam. My Beloved & I don’t make eye contact during sex as we used to. However, we do sit at the opposites ends of the bed and have our deep conversations while looking into each other’s eyes. I will admit if I’m not attracted to someone, I don’t like to look them in the eye too often. I do like intimidate some people by making eye contact with them.

Why isn’t One Man Enough?

If you are a regular reader of mine, you already know about Mr. Sam.

Last week Mr. Sam hit a rough patch in our friendship. The next day I unloaded most of my emotional wreckage onto my Beloved. He sat there listening to me babble on about Mr. Sam. I think my Beloved thought that the newness of Mr Sam would wear off. However, it has not. Although Mr Sam tends to get under my skin, so does my Beloved so that’s not a big deal. My Beloved knows I get bored with life, friends, family and activities.sassycat3000, latina, sexblogger, relationships, lovers, affairs, wayward

Boredom is my main trigger that gets me into major trouble when I don’t keep a close eye on it. I can get into a lot of trouble when I’m bored. Is that the same as being bored with one man? I believe we were never met to be monogamous. Does that mean we get bored with one partner? I have become bored with my Beloved? Maybe. Routine. Is that boredom. Is it that I am a different person now that I was when I first married him? I think I am a little different, not much. I think that the woman I am now was hiding all those years ago.

My beloved & I have gotten into a comfortable marital rut. You know, routines, patterns and competency. And what is my trigger? Right, boredom. Routines and patterns cause boredom. Through out our marriage I have always had another man in the background. I refer that guy to “the drunk I need in my life.” Because 9 times out of 10 the guy who is in the background is some addict, mainly alcoholics. They provide the chaos and drama I need to keep me going.

Looking back to the early 2000’s when my life hit the skids, when I had my mid-life crisis. It was then I used the internet to escape from reality. I met a few men, through social sites I was on. These men don’t haunt me like they used too. The ones that are fresh in my memory are my 805muse, he was around for almost 7 years. A daily dose of my drunken muse, until he reconnected with sobriety and his cult the JW’s. Not sure about the time frame, but then enters Charlie. Charlie comes back into my life, having his drunk ass in my life was wonderful UNTIL his toxicity contaminated me after years of being clean. I enjoyed having Charlie in my life. However we both knew it was time to end it. So we did just that.

In October 2016 I met Mr. Sam. He has consumed a lot of my time since our meeting. I have neglected so much work, chores and other things. We text during the day when I’m at home. We text in the last evenings before I go to bed. Mr. Sam is always there. There was a few weekends ago when I kicked him to the curb for something I pushed him to do. After a night of thinking I might have lost him, I cried to my Beloved about losing my background guy.  I’m not sure what my Beloved was expecting with this new man in the background at all. I like having Mr Sam in my life, I know he’s always there for me when I need him. He listens, we laugh a lot, we party together and we can understand each other on a different level than my Beloved and I. I really do love Mr Sam, in my own crazy way, more so than the others. I really would hate to give him up. I can’t see what life would be like without him, yet I know deep in my heart – nothing lasts forever.

The morning I cried to my Beloved about Mr Sam, I asked him “why can you be enough? Why isn’t one man enough for me? What’s wrong with me, I feel the need to have two men or sometimes more in my life at all times?” I felt horrible about saying that to him, had he said I would have died. He sat there and listened, comforting me as I cried about the possibility of losing the other man in my life. What sick & twisted shit is this?

Mr Sam looked at me at said “You just want to combine me & your Beloved into one man, into your perfect man.” I laughed and smiled and asked “is that possible?” LOL. Deep in my heart I know this will not end how I envisioned it, but will probably end in more tears and shattered hearts than happily ever after. I wish I knew why one man is not enough for me.

This was Wicked Wednesday’s Prompt #248 

5 Things about Winter [WW236]

This week Wicked Wednesday is about Winter…

5 Things I HATE about Winter…..winter, window, sassycat3000. wicked wednesday, tights,

  1.  The change in the sunlight, when it’s dark outside at 6 o’clock in the morning and 5 o’ clock in the evening.
  2.  Having to warm up my car before I leave for work in the morning. I hate sitting on cold leather car seats as much as I hate burning my thighs on scolding hot leather in the summertime.
  3.  The holidays. Yes! Bah Hum Bug! People are the worst this time of the year. Rude, selfish and so stressed out to find that perfect gift. The whole PC shit….being politically correct about Christmas and the holidays. I get it, I really do. Once the older generation dies out, “Merry Christmas” wont be said anymore. Say whatever is in your heart, there needs to be tolerance and understanding. Ugh.
  4.  I hate winter because my “issues” tend to get the better of me. I drink more, party more, stay up late more and my emotions are usually more raw. Did I mention that I gain weight during the winter? I crave starches & sweets. Instant fat ass.
  5.  Dry skin…crackle & pop skin, sometimes painful. I have baby oil in the shower to use after the shower. Then applying body lotion when I get into the bedroom and lastly A&D ointment for the really rough dry spots. Static. I hate static from the dry air. Nose bleeds from the dry air, then getting out the humidifier to fix the dry air problem.

 

5 Things I LOVE about Winter…..winter, window, wicked wednesday, sassycat3000, sweater, tights

 

  1.  I love hearing the snow crunch under my boots as I walk. I love wearing boots, thick socks or tights or leggings. Love wearing sweaters.
  2.  I love watching the snow fall during a blizzard. I love snow blizzards, the big snowflakes that you can really see. I enjoy being outside when it’s snowing heavy.
  3.  Not having to leave my house because of the snow or because it’s too cold outside. I can stare out the window all day if I could.
  4.  Laying on the sofa curled up with him and snuggled up with my woobie … safe & warm. Loving, touching and squeezing. lol.
  5.  Once the holidays are over, knowing that I will start feeling better about myself. Knowing that I’ve made it through another year.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

Late Night [MM101, WW219]

Charlie called. He only calls when he’s drunk or feeling needy. “Where you at?”drinks at the bar

I answer him.  “At home, ready for bed.”

“Come down and have a drink with me.”

“It’s 10:30 (at night) I can’t.”

“You can’t or you don’t want to? Tell me you don’t want to.”

“I don’t want to.”

“See that wasn’t so difficult. Now come down and have a drink with me.”

“Ok, but I’m taking a shower first and I’m wearing my Jammie’s.”

“That’s fine.”

I showered, shaved and got dressed. I put on my blue nylon running shorts, white tube socks and my London zip-up hoodie. I immediately caught his eye when I walked into the bar.

Where is the soccer game?”

“HAHA!!! I couldn’t wear my real jammies. You know I sleep in a tank top & panties.”

“YEA I know!!! That’s what I thought you meant when you said you were coming out in your pj’s.”

He kept staring at me. He waved the bartender over and ordered us drinks. His eyes went up and down my body. He was buzzed as usual. I had gained a bit of weight since the last time he seen me, but I wasn’t too concerned about that tonight.

“Wanna a shot? Let’s do a shot!” He ordered us to shots of Fireball and our usual drinks.

FireballI took a sip of my drink and looked around the bar. I noticed that a few of Charlie’s crew were watching me. Trying to figure out exactly what was going on with us. I normally do not visit the bar on the weeknight.

One of the regular’s came up to me when Charlie had walked over to the jukebox.

“Hi. What’s going on? Here checking up on your guy?”

[Read More of Cat’s Sex Stories]

Charlie & I have been over for a few years. However we would hook up now & again, just not recently. The booze & CC are his main girls now. I just am there for company. Which I don’t mind (sometimes). Charlie comes back to where we were sitting. “Hey Bill,” as he taps Bill on the shoulder. “Why you trying to hit on my girl?”

Bill immediately apologized to him and to me. I smiled “it’s all good.” Bill bought the next round of drinks. More shots. More drinks. I stopped counting after three. Charlie didn’t mean too much by his actions, just that it keeps the undesirables away from me and at the same time it shows I’m a possession. Which I truly am not his, it’s just the game we play.

Charlie began rubbing my thighs while I sat next to him. I smiled at him. “You’re drunk.”

“You’re fucking hot. Take me home.”

“Really?! Come on can’t Bea pick you up?!” Bea was one of his newest girlfriends. She had only been there a few times, most of his crew did not like her.

“No. I don’t want to hear her bitching at me.”

I rolled my eyes at him. I stood up to leave, he followed. As we walked out, he put his arm around my waist. I said nothing thinking he’s drunk and he’ll stop when we get outside.

We walked to the car, he spun me around and kissed me. Pushing me into the car, we’re leaning on my car kissing each other. I have always enjoyed kissing him, tasting his lips, feeling his smooth soft lips. I could feel his cock hardening underneath his jeans as he pressed me hard against the car. His hand on the back of my head, tangling a handful of hair in his hand. He pulls my head back and begins to kiss then bite my neck. OMG. Why. This feels so good and I know it’s so wrong. Why does he have this power over me? I feel that familiar warm sensation in between my legs. He bite my neck. I gasped.

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I could feel the effects of the alcohol starting to hit me. I love the beginning sensations of catching that buzz. We kissed a bit longer, deciding we should get into the car. We both looked at each other, smiling. He moved the seat all the way back, patting his lap I climbed on to him. We kissed deeply & passionately. I felt like I was in high school again. His hands up my shirt, under my bra, squeezing and kneading my breast. Just two buzzed people in a car making out.

He pushed two of his fingers in my mouth, I eagerly sucked them running my tongueBlowjob in the cemetery against them.  He pulled my shorts over to one side, pushing those fingers in to me. My body reacts willingly. He knows how to make my body quiver & shake. He smiles as he watches me orgasm. I watch as he sucks my juices off his fingers. “Hop off.” I sat back in my seat, watching him unzip his jeans. He stroked his semi-hard cock, looks at me. I leaned over and engulfed his cock into my mouth. My head bobbed up & down has he held my hair. My tongue swirling around his shaft. “Stop! Stop! Ride my cock baby.”

I pushed my shorts to the floor, climbed on top of him. Holding his hard cock with his hand he guided it into me. I rocked on his tool while his hands held onto my hips, gently pushing & pulling me back & forth on his member. We kiss, he takes a handful of my hair pulling my head back, he licking and biting my skin. I feel his body tighten and my pussy tightens around his cock. “Say my name. Baby Please say it. Say it for me. Please!”

“Charlie.” in a monotone voice.

Looking into his dilated, slightly red eyes, I know what he wants. I want it too.

In a stern demanding voice I say “Cum inside me Charlie. I want it, you do it! Cum inside me! Charlie! Now!”

I felt his hands on my hips again, guiding my rocking motion. I’m feeling an orgasmic buzz. I blackout for a mere second while my orgasm begins, hearing Charlie’s voice cry out “Oh Cat, baby, fuck.” My drunken orgasm was like an out of body experience. His eyes closed and a peaceful look overcame him. I laid down on him, we seemed to pass out for a few minutes. I came too, when I felt his cock melted out of me along with all our juices. I reached in to the glove box in search of tissues to a quick clean up. “Damn, did we pass out?”

“Yeah, I think we did.” in a fretting voice. He laughs, “we always had the adventurous kind of sex. You ready to go to County Line?” It’s another bar. I started the car and we were on our way for more drinks.

This blog post is for Masturbation Monday and Wicked Wednesday. Wicked Wednesday ‘s prompt is about Alcohol. I have several posts about that topic.

[Read More of Cat’s Sex Stories]

Masturbation MondayWicked Wednesday

5 Reasons Why I Love Chocolate [WW218]

“In Heaven Chocolate has no calories and is served as the main course.” – unknown

5.  Chocolate can be as good and sometimes better than sex.

4.  Chocolate is always festive and dressed up during the holidays.

chocolate

3.  Chocolate always makes me smile.

2.  Chocolate makes me eat more fruit.

chocolate

 

1.  It’s not illegal to be addicted to chocolate.

 

 

Chocolate! Who doesn’t like chocolate? Okay, I guess some people won’t like it, but still I would love all of you to share your best (and sexy) chocolate stories! – Wicked Wednesday

Wicked Wednesday

Questions about Quitting [AtoZChallenge]

A two in one post. Q is for Quitting & Wicked Wednesday is about Questions.Q

In the past I have read a few articles about “starting a blog,” but what about when to quit blogging.

A blogger/writer should quit when OR why some bloggers quit.

  • They have lost their passion to write or blog.
  • Life events are more important than blogging.
  • When starting out bloggers do not realize how time-consuming blogging can be.
  • Not finding a blogging niche, not fitting into a specific blogging niche.
  • Getting discouraged because of no comments or getting too focused on blog stats.
  • Not finding a supportive, accepting or friendly blogging community.
  • Not being able to come up with blog topics.

Those were just a few that I had read throughout the blogosphere. Now here come the questions…

  • What would be the number one reason that you quit blogging?
  • Do you have an end goal in mind, that if you reach that goal you plan on quitting blogging?
  • Will you ever quit blogging about your main topics or your blogging niche? (Sex, Fashion, Food, Parenting, etc.)
  • If you quit blogging about your main niche/topics what do you think you will blog about or would you quit blogging entirely?
  • What motivates you NOT to quit blogging, even if your stats suck, no one comments and you really think about quitting? What keeps you going?
  • Is there anything about blogging that scares or intimidates you?
  • Is there any advice you would give to a new blogger about starting a blog in your current niche/topic?

Wicked Wednesday

As far as me quitting this blog. The answer is not anytime soon, however shit happens and I could have some life alternating event that would prevent me from continuing this blog. For now, you’re stuck with me.

 

Book Collector [WW199]

 I am not avid book reader. I had problems with retaining the information that I just read. No problems comprehending what I read, it took me longer.

Sex Secretary and books

I don’t like to read novels, romance stories or most other genres. I do enjoy reading self-help, psychology and sociology books, gardening books and books that I can relate to.

I do have a thing for books.

What’s the “thing?” I enjoy having them, even though I don’t or haven’t read all my books. I have intentions on reading them (I know I never will). There is a unique smell to new books, opening a new book before anyone else, the way it feels in my hands, how comfortable it is to hold and the size of the print.

I don’t collect books like first editions or rare books. It’s just a collection. I have kept some of my grandpa’s old books he read when he was alive. He was into world history, aliens, astronomy. When he passed away, my dad gave me his books and I went through them and found several $20 bills.

I love going to the book store and look at all the books. When I was in high school I loved going to the library, not just to get away from my grandparents (who raised me). But because I was fascinated with all those books. I wanted to be able to read them and soak up what was inside. However, this is not one of my talents nor a true passion.

Sex Secretary and books

My Manchild will be moving home at the end of this year. I must downsize. I took all my books off my three shelves in the office and loaded them in to several boxes. I told myself I’ll go through the boxes one day, sort through the ones I want to keep.

Wait a minute! If I haven’t needed any of those books in months why should I keep them?! I want to sell some of them via amazon, but was told that it’s not worth the time & energy nor the money. Charity shops? Not sure what I’m going to do with them.

In the past I have purchased a few books that have been recommended by friends or family. In these 2014 photos I’m looking at a book that was suggested reading material.

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Wicked Wednesday

Heart Stew [WW198]

Are you a fan of zombie movies? If yes, why? If no, why not? Share your thoughts on zombies and for those of you who love to write zombie erotica… this is the moment to dazzle everyone! – Wicked Wednesday

 

zombie heart stewZombie movies are on the bottom of my horror genre list. From childhood sitting in the classroom of a catholic school I heard some reference to the dead walking the earth from the bible. Thank You Sister Mary TortureChildren and Father Aaron Onyourknees for scaring the shit of me as a child!

zombie heart stew legs

There were verses like….

Zechariah 14:12 – “And the LORD will send a plague on all the nations that fought against Jerusalem. Their people will become like walking corpses, their flesh rotting away. Their eyes will rot in their sockets, and their tongues will rot in their mouths. On that day they will be terrified, stricken by the LORD with great panic. They will fight their neighbors hand to hand.

Revelation 20:13,14 (KJV) – “And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works. And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death.

Sure, I know that the above verses ain’t talking about zombies, but when you’re a child you tend to take what you hear at face value. Zombies always scared me, because I thought of them as something made by God to punish the remaining humans for their evil deeds.

zombie heart stew

I love horror movies. The more of a psychological thriller the better, the sicker the better. Zombie flicks stuff not so much. The Walking Dead does nothing for me, because it’s too popular. I don’t like anything that is so popular by society. I wanna watch movies that are borderline disturbing. When the director pushes all the boundaries. Movies that make people talk. I tried watching izombie a few times, but was it just didn’t hold my attention.

I’ve watched a few good zombie flicks the most recent was Brad Pitt’s World Was Z. It was very good, the storyline I mean. Sure there are so far-fetched scenes, but it’s the storyline. Yes, I believe that it is possible for humanity to be infected by a some form of plague, disease. Look at the news today, there are so many new (and old) viruses appearing in all parts of the world.

zombie heart stew

I’ve watched goofy and silly zombie movies like Cockneys vs Zombies, Shaun of the Dead, Warm Bodies. Some of my favorites are Planet Terror, Zombieland. I’ve seen the classics; Day of the Dead (I went to the cinema to see it, to this day my mother thinks that action had an affect on my son while in was still in my womb). Night of the Living Dead, Return of the Living Dead (too silly), Dawn of the Dead. Most of those are the ones that really freaked me out. Until I viewed them differently, however the thought that mankind can become walking dead because of some type of virus really does freak me out.

heart stew, zombie

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